The Healing Process

[Pinky]

That's fantastic Didi!

And for those of you who haven't caught mentions of DnM elsewhere on this site, DatingNMore is a singles, social site that currently is free to all members. It is owned and operated by the original creator of Romancescam.com. In fact RS here was an offshoot of the dating web site as Marisa (the owner of DnM) began it to fight the scammers who joined her site. Her dating site is the ONLY scammer free web site on the net as she goes to great lengths and she is the most proficient at keeping them out. Check out DatingnMore.

[OwezMe]

hi everyone..

i'm lucky being here...at least i've got a chance to share and understand our problem very well...this has made me extra careful now about this issue..yet im still pretending that nothing has happened cause this will give me time to track every person especially in my country, John's teammate (John is the name that scammer) including his real address..really hope my cousin can track it since she's been working at telco company..my dad is going to tell this to his best friend who is working at police station, looking for possible solution..pray the best for me guys..and bear in mind...God will always help us the weak..

[Pinky]

Hi Oweisme. We hope we can give you some comfort here in knowinng you're not alone. You have the support of many here who have walked in your shoes.

Don't hold out hope though that your scammer can be caught or prosecuterd. It's highly likely there are no American involvments or connections. If your scammer used an American name, it was stolen or made up. An address was lifted off the internet. A credit card (if he sent you flowers) was stolen. If you sent him merchandise to an American address it was forwarded to Africa by a 'mule' who is probably another victim in love thinking they were helping. That same mule might have forwarded you a check to cash for the scammer.

Sadly, unless you're famous or have lost enough money to interest the feds, nothing is going to happen. I understand there are provisions to write off money lost or stolen on your income tax but that's about it.

The best way to fight this is to warn others. You can do this by posting his scamming information here on this site. He is doing others like you.

I'm sorry you've had this experience.

[Arabian Nights]

Hi there to all in RS
i have received this in a PM and would like to share it round to give support and thought to it

Thanks for your support........I feel that I have been such a fool. At least I know what the warning signs are because I am still searching for my soulmate, where ever he may be.

when we find out we are being scammed we have many thoughts of self loathing and inadequacies
In truth we are loving, caring, compassionate, intelligent and genuine people
We have so much strength that we have faced our demons and shared them
am glad to know and see you all here, you have taken such big steps to overcome your inner conflicts
thankyou again

[Kanuk]

Hi Pinky,

Whoever you are Pinky, thank you from the bottom of my sincere heart!!!!!
I have been trying to heal alone since finding out that I had been scammed a little over a month ago and your healing list has helped in many ways.....
I too feel sooooo stupid to have fallen for such a sick and evil scam that some days are just too unbearable to think about continuing then I look at my 3 wonderful boys and I say to myself "they don't deserve that"?????
This guy took 7 months of my life pretending to be this wonderful family man?? widower with 2 girls? not to mention my confdence, my love, my hopes and my dreams!!!!!
I hate life these days and I hate what he has turned me into always thinking bad things now about everyone aound me not being able to trust anyone anymore at their word!!!
My parents didn't bring me up to think that everyone was evil but that is how I see things everything is EVIL!!!!!!!!
I know in time I will get over the money lose and thank goodness it was only money that he can't find me and come to see me but I wish I could find him and put my little hands around his neck and squeeze (though I am not a violent person??)
I still have nighmares at night when I sleep (the little sleep that I get) and I still hear the ringing of his voice in my head some times then I get sick.....
Thank you for helping and this brief message has helped me in so many ways to unload a lot of guilt from my already burdened shoulders.
Here is a photo of my scammer and his so called 2 daughters.
Ladies and gentlmen presenting Mr. Kelly Brown and his daughters Sherri and Kim.......
Thank you for letting me unload a lot of heartache.....

[Pinky]

Dear Kanuk, I thank YOU for having the courage to come forward with this. You in turn, will help many others. This should prove to you the world and most people in it are not evil. The good guys look out for each other. You will find the pain and anger will subside as time goes on and you will love and trust again - only the next time you will know better what to watch out for. It's a hard lesson to learn but being scammed is an effective one.

I am single and on many dating sites. Some I even pay for. I still meet and go out with guys from the sites. I have many different ways of testing their credibility and sincerity, some subtle and some not so subtle. But all in all, I have never had a single one refuse to prove he was who he said he was in his profile and because of what I've learned about scams, I was able to discover that two of them were actually MARRIED men looking to cheat on their wives. Sadly there are always a few locals who aren't much better than the scammers. I still have hope though. Never lose that.

[Prisoner6]

Thank you for giving us all a voice and shoulder to cry on. I have ben a victim of the Travel scam which I confirmed today. I am merely a very lonely man hoping one day to find true love. I thought I found it with the girl (36) I met via a free site who wanted me to e-mail her. I was psychologically manipulated over 4 weeks and felt flattered with all the attention I was having. No one had ever spoken so sweetly to me before. I was in love. Everything I secretly wanted to hear I heard.

The experience has left me emotionally drained and very depressed. Victims are not stupid or naive. They are honest, caring people with a good heart like myself, perhaps just too trusting. Yes. I sent the girl money for a Visa, but she did not directly ask for it, just saying there was a problem with finance. By this time I was too far under her spell and sent money voluntarily to help her as a friend. It is not losing the money that worries me, just the psychological damage. To be fair, Western Union even warned me about money advances, but I was too deaf to listen!

Not only have I been exploited, but also the girl whose photos I received in many e-mails, including a picture of her with mum and dad. She looked respectable too, attractive, no semi nude apart from 2 bikini shots, which didn't seem to fit with the profile of "the well brought up woman"! All this is pretty revolting now-I feel physically sick.

If someone with depression or mental health problems is scammed like this then the outcome could be tragic.

I feel empty now, as I confided in this "girl" and grieve for a love that I know now never existed. I now seek the Samaritans for support to get through this. For me, I fear I will now never find love-an unbearable thought. An ugly 49 year old man with no hope, who fell for a fictitious woman.

I would like to say how sorry I am for anybody who has been a victim, and I understand how distressing these scams can be. Thanks for listening. Writing this here has even helped a little. Now I try to rebuild my life and what little self esteem I had.

Take care everyone,

Mark

[didi]

I am so sorry for you. We are many here that have made the same experience and felt the same way . It takes time to heal, but you will do it. And you are right, it is not the money, it is the feeling to have been betrayed by someone pretending to be in love with you that hurts more than loosing money.
I hope you have posted everything you know about this woman, pictures, telephone numbers, IP-numbers.

[Oklahomamishap]

Wow, I was so shocked to come across this website tonight. I have just recently been the victim of a web site dating scam that actually was broadcast on the news, and I found a link from that to this site. I really thought I was alone, and can't believe this has happened to so many people. I feel like there has been absolutely no one to turn to for support, and it is a relief to find this forum. I am just not sure where to go from here.

[Pinky]

There are tens of thousands of scammers on the net. Maybe even hundreds of thousands. Read up on them in all the forums here. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Give youreself rest, pamper yourself, and take time to heal. Also, it seems from my associations here, that the faster you can give up the anger, the faster you heal.