The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends

Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe on Mon May 07, 2012 12:17 am

Dear Carlottak
You are in really good hands here. People on this forum know exactly what you are going through and how to support you. I am going through a similar tale and although I have only told a couple of friends who have been very supportive and ensure that I am ok, they really do not know what I am going through.

I come back to this forum every single day to read the updates and will soon be posting more information about my scammer. At the moment I am still emotionally scared.

It will get better I know it will. With the support on here just know you are not alone.

You have been through a lot with your family loss and now this. I lost someone very close to me whilst this was going on too and even though I was mourning and very sad, my scammer was only interested in me sending him money. Unfortunately I lost a considerable amount of money and it is affecting me now.

Please take care and look after yourself
best regards MM
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak on Mon May 07, 2012 12:55 am

Dear MM,
I have been amazed at the support and encouragement I have received from the people on this forum. I am so glad I found it as my family and friends don't seem to understand the pain I'm going through. Yes, it was a scam, but during the four months, I spent hours with this person and actually felt I was in love with them. I couldn't wait to hear from him again - I felt like a school girl and her first love!

Since I found out it was a scam, I have become very educated on how to do a more thorough search before becoming friends with someone online again.

I know the healing will take time and I'm thankful I won't have to go it alone.

I am so sorry for your loss and to have been scammed during your time of mourning is really low. I'm also sorry you lost a considerable amount of money - that has to be very difficult. I will remember you in prayer -

Take care and I hope we can now begin the healing process.
kindest regards CK
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak on Tue May 08, 2012 10:29 am

Since becoming more knowledgeable on finding people on line by searching for their picture, I have been searching the internet periodically to see if my scammer shows up anywhere else. This morning I found his pictures associated with a site called MissTravel - never heard of that and would really be afraid to travel with someone I don't know. Anyway, I was reading how he describes himself and what he's looking for in a woman - the sad thing is, that's exactly what I've been looking for! He perfectly described the type of man I'd want a relationship with and the type of relationship I'd like to have with my man. It seems these scammers know just what to say to reach the heart of a woman and get her hooked on them! Everyone be safe and take care!
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Ruffled Feathers on Tue May 08, 2012 5:54 pm

Hello Again Carlottak,

I just read your last post, please stay away from this man and do not go looking for him. He will only catch up to you again and try to hurt you again.
This is a very unhealthy way to get back on your feet and start to heal. I know you are still in the stage of wanting to know more and hoping that what happened to you isn't really true, however, it is true and now you MUST make up your mind to stay away, and have absolutely no further contact with him, not even in a picture. By doing this you are only hurting yourself further and it will take you that much longer to recover from the heartbreak of what he did.
I know it's a difficult situation, recovery isn't easy, but you will recover over time and you must allow yourself that time.
Also the sooner you post all your information about him, the sooner you will become strong once again. Please take the advice that everyone on this site is giving you and stay right away from pictures and/or contact with him. If he knows you're looking for him he will just destroy you once again, of that you can be sure.
I know you can heal, I know you can recover and I know you will be a much better person for this experience.
Now is the time to look after you. I wish you only the best,
RF
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak on Tue May 08, 2012 10:35 pm

Thanks for pointing that out RF – I haven’t had any more contact with my scammer nor do I intend to. I have posted information about him and when I found the pictures were being used under other names and websites, I’ve been adding that to my post in an effort to protect someone else from this scum. It feels very “freeing” to provide this information, but I haven’t thought of the possibility of it prolonging my healing. Thanks again for pointing this out -
Carlotta
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Ruffled Feathers on Tue May 08, 2012 11:49 pm

Hi MM, haven't heard from you in awhile and I know you've been doing alot of posting helping others, but just thought I'd check in with you to make sure you are OK. Are you OK???
Please feel free to PM if you want to talk, or answer me here in this forum. Know we are all here to support you in the best way possible and are here to listen when you NEED to talk with someone.
Please take care of yourself, if you need help, PM me or AB, we are, as are so many others here to help you.
RF
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Mirjam on Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:20 pm

Hello everyone

I am new here and was scammed also by a man, named Gabriel Holmes. He contacted me on my birthday this year in january untill the end of may. About two weeks ago i discovered that he is a scammer because i checked his pictures on this site. He used the pictures of Rick, a model from Hawaiian.
It cost me a lot of money about $ 75.000 and i even had to lent a part of the money which i have to pay back and it will cost me several years to do that.

I feel very stupid that i fell for this evil scammer with his smooths talks, chats and emails. I know everyone on this site says we are not stupid but the feeling is there. Normally i have a good intuition but when i paid him the money my intuition said nothing to me and i dont understand that at all.

I will and cannot tell my children about this whole story because i am very ashamed of myself and they will not understand it why i did it because they find me an intelligent mother who has a pretty high function with a government and that i have fallen in this trap.
This is a secret i will cary with me and take with me in my grave. Even if i will have a new relationship with a man i will never tell him that i paid so much money to a scammer.

But its just money i keep thinking by myself and first i was very angry with myself for being so stupid. And i also missed his voice and emails in the beginning just like all of you but now he is just a bad memory that happened in my life. I know its my Karma that wants to learn me a lesson in my life but its a very hard lesson i have learned.

Four years ago i lost my favourite brother who comitted suicide, than i was divorced because my ex husband cheated on me with women on internetsites, than i got the news that my only brother i have left has cancer and will not live for 5 years, than i met a nice man in my country and had a relationship for 8 months but suddenly he left me because he wasnt over his divorce yet and than i met this very ugly and evil scammer who ripped me of my money.
How much can a person bare in his life i ask myself sometimes ?

I know these things happens because its my Karma but sometimes its very hard to cope with all this.
I am grateful that everyone is supporting the victims of scammers on this site, i didnt even know that the scammers exist but now i do know unfortunately. I wished i knew it earlier.
During my contact with him sometimes i was suspicious and i told him that but everytime he convinced me he wasnt lying to me and would never hurt me but now i know better.

Right now i lost all my faith in men and i will not visit internet datingsites for a long time.
The scammer contacted me on Facebook i wasnt looking for a man at all at that time because i was still recovering from the hurt of my ex-boyfriend.

Thank you for telling me your stories on this site it gives me faith and hope that its gone be allright with me.
I dont have a broken heart because of that terrible scammer but i hate hime forever and i hope soon he will be punished in this life and otherwise standing before God.
They are such ruthless people with no conscience and have a very bad Karma.

I hope no woman will fall into the trap of a scammer thats why i reported him on this site, to the FBI and the Malaysian police.

Regards Mirjam
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky on Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:33 am

Hi Mirjam and welcome, but sorry it's under sad circumstances. Our site is in the process of moving to another server so my reply will be brief. I'm not sure it will even work to reply. Just know that my heart goes out to you and there are many here who care. We will be writing more shortly. Hang in with us.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby sparta on Fri Jun 15, 2012 9:26 pm

I know when he is going home.. I know where he sits on the plane.. Wish somebody could be at the airport to arrest him..
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby FrumpyBB on Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:01 pm

Assuming you mean what I believe you mean : He is fake, he will not come, he will ask for (more) money.

In order to save also his other victims from losing more, please post details in White Males section, so we can comment anything and fast. :) Thanks.
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)

Use Spokeo
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky on Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:17 pm

Oh yeah Sparta, if you gave the little sh*t money and he's still pretending he's coming to see you, give that idea up - even if he showed you tickets; they're fake.

Catching these buggers is like nailing jello to a wall. Can't be done. Sever ALL communications with him - I mean EVERYTHING, completely - and post up his name, picture, email address, requests for money, how much you sent him, the Western Union information you sent it to . . . EVERYTHING! He's not just scamming you. It's his job and there are others. Share what you know with them.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie on Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:37 pm

Dear Mirjam

I'm so sorry this happened to you too. I wish you lots of stregnth for this coming year- it'll be a hard climb, but you'll get there. Take good care of yourself and never give up. Stay strong and keep smiling even when you are feeling torn apart inside. Just remember, you're not alone. I'm sorry you've experienced so much pain and loss in every sense of the word. I wish you happiness, good health and in the future, love.
Smile and the whole world smiles with you! Take good care of yourself and remember, there are lots of good people out there too.

Best wishes
Sofie
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie on Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:42 pm

by the way, Mirjam. How did you get through to the Malaysian police? I contacted the embassy here in my country and they handed the case over to the police but my case still has to get to them if ever as it is still being processed by the police here. I doubt whether it will ever get dealt with! Frustrating!
That's all for now, bye Sofie
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby sweetgirl25 on Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:08 pm

Hi

I chatted with my scammer for nearly two weeks. On the second day of our meeting he tells me that he has to leave UK for a week. Then after a week in Uk he gets a contract in Nigeria where his credit card doesnt work and he asks me for 2000 USD and i send him $1000 AUD. The next day he tells me that the money i sent him was not enough and he needs more to pay his hotel bills. I blocked him immediately. He continued to send me msgs on the phone and now he has stopped. I am really scared bec he has some of my photos. Thank God he didnt ask me to use the web cam. I am really shocked and so embarassed but I am okay now. This scammer has four profiles on Matchdoctor.
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby almost_bit on Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:06 am

@sweetgirl25

I"m sure you're scared, but know that your scammer won't do anything if you just ignore him.
As long as he thinks he might get money, he'll try anything - kind words, anger, threats. All of them are hollow.
As soon as he recognizes that you aren't sending him anything more, he'll go away.

Yes, it can be scary, but just be assured that you have nothing to fear.
Do NOT bait your own scammer!
___
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.
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