It is currently Fri Mar 29, 2024 6:17 am    

*

Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.




The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
User avatar
Pinky
Scam Buster
Posts: 3614
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:49 am
Location: USA


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Tue Mar 27, 2012 3:36 pm

Paboya, I'm curious . . . you saw him on cam many times? Is he a white guy or a black Nigerian? Was he using an English sounding name or was he an African scamming as himself. If he's an African, using his own name and pics, he might not be thinking of himself as a scammer. He could be what we call a visa beggar - a lot of them will literally indenture themselves and sell their souls to anyone with enough money to get them out of Africa. Begging for money is second nature for these guys but it doesn't necessarily mean that he's scamming and romancing others while he was doing you. Never-the-less, like you, I'd have dumped him hard for lying (the photoshopped pics) and asking you for money. It's not love when anyone takes advantage of their partners feelings and finances.

If he was using pics of a white guy, and you saw him on video, he was feeding you prerecorded cam chats with someone else who was scammed.

@ JLT, welcome. I would like to reiterate what others have said. You are not stupid. You found your way here, you used a computer and composed an effective message. You were attacked by a deceitful criminal. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I notice you only have one post. Scammers do this for a living and in order to make good money, they literally have a pipeline of victims in various stages of the scam, which produce them a steady, lucrative income. This is a multimillion dollar industry in Africa, Malaysia and some parts of Russia. The only way to fight this is to expose the scammer. When their other victims in the pipeline get suspicious, they'll be able to find the truth - if you post it.

Please provide the name, profile information, pictures, email address(es), phone number(s) and any other information that you have, so that others may be saved.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

Re: The Healing Process

Sponsor

verispy.com
Sponsor
 

Ruffled Feathers
Junior Poster
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 7:14 pm


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Ruffled Feathers » Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:22 am

Hello again, jlt1221

I feel I owe you an apology - I was quite sure of what to say to you last night, I realized too late that your were probably scammed by a woman, of course that was after I sent you my original message. I just wanted to say, it doesn't matter who you were scammed by, which gender, the fact is, you were scammed and obviously very hurt.

Most of us on this site have been scam vicitims, that's why we are here, we all found this site by accident, but I can promise you, that we are all healing, if not healed, BUT we are all here to help the new person, that has just realized what has happened to them.

You have to remember, as I said, this is not your fault, you honestly thought you were helping someone in trouble, we all thought the same thing with our scammers, never dreaming in a million years, that this was a dishonest person, robbing our hearts and bank accounts.

I would enjoy talking with you further, I think, your positive attitude of get moving and looking forward is great, but please post as much info as you can about this scammer --- it will help you and many others. Keeping this a secret from friends or family does not help in the healing process, you have to confide in someone, and I found, confiding to people on this site was very helpful, no one sat in judgement, they jumped in and said we are here for you. And if you don't want to be in the forum of the Chat Room, post more here on this site, or contact one of us via private message.

We all want to help you heal, and we listen with an open mind, not a judgemental one. Please post your scammers info and come talk to us in the Chat Room, we are here for you, or as I said, just keep posting here in the Healing area until you are ready to talk.

In the meantime, do what you feel is necessary for you to do to get back on your feet and regain your balance. But please talk to someone you can trust and this is a trustworthy site.

Regards, RF

User avatar
Paboya
Junior Poster
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:21 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Paboya » Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:06 am

Hi Tomi! I'm sorry that you were scammed. :( Thank you soo much for your comforting words! :hugz:
Last edited by FrumpyBB on Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Full quote deleted.
"It doesn't matter what they say, it's what they do."

User avatar
Paboya
Junior Poster
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:21 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Paboya » Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:29 am

Hi Pinky! Yesss, we video chatted on Skype many times and he even video chatted with my daughter. I do know that the person who I spoke with on the phone and video chatted with on Skype are the same person in his pictures. He is an African from Nigeria living in Malaysia with a student Visa. And his email does show that he is where he says, in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Most of the victim's stories here are about scammers using stolen pictures and saying that they are from a certain place but their email's tracking says otherwise. But that's not the case with mines. That's why I'm looking for anyone who has a similar story as mines. Hmmm...now that you gave me some insight about "Visa Beggars", I'm confused now. :-? :-? :-?
Last edited by FrumpyBB on Wed Mar 28, 2012 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Full quote deleted.
"It doesn't matter what they say, it's what they do."

User avatar
duckhunter
Scam Buster
Posts: 1410
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:56 am
Location: RIGHT HERE SILLY


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby duckhunter » Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:55 am

Paboya, I've noticed that there are more of them lately, particularly in Ghana and other non-Nigerian countries. I see this as a 'loophole' they've found. If they admit to living in West Africa and use their own photos, then the ip checks and stolen photo check won't apply to them. In their messed up justification, this must make all the other lies they tell their victims acceptable.

The only difference is that we can't nail them quite so easily. They are liars and criminals just the same.
Help us keep scammers stupid Post his details here to warn others, then walk away without explanation. Confrontation alerts scammers & makes them change their identities...which makes all your hard work outdated. It messes with their minds if they don't know why you walked away.

angrymomster
New Poster
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun May 01, 2011 5:51 pm


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby angrymomster » Sun Apr 01, 2012 10:00 pm

It's been a year since I was scammed and, well, let's say not my best. I finally am ready to say sayonara to the whole business and went to the folder where I have all the email and lo and behold, nigerian jerkbean has changed his picture. Not that it's him, but the creep factor started setting in for a bit. Then... :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Ruffled Feathers
Junior Poster
Posts: 46
Joined: Fri Feb 10, 2012 7:14 pm


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Ruffled Feathers » Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:07 am

Hello --- I know exactly what you are saying, I shredded my scammers stuff a week ago and then cleaned my kitty litter box on top of all the shredded paper.

You will feel better now that you have determined to rid him of your life.

You will feel so much stronger and just always remember this was not your fault and you have nothing to be ashamed about.

Please take good care of yourself, and you will heal and have a new normal life once again.

Life will be good once again, RF

Sofie
RomanceScam Sponsor
RomanceScam Sponsor
Posts: 36
Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:15 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:07 pm

Hello Dear RS Team and Dear 'Helpers'

It's exactly a yer ago that I drove to the airport to finally pick up my scammer after months and months and months of communicating, waiting, phonecalls, empty promises and so on, only to discover that I'd been scammed. I didn't have a cent left to my name as I'd sent him everything and more and owed a small fortune as I was stupid and trusting enough to believe this evil being. It has been a hard year, really hard. I have worked myself stupid, had to deal with my situation, but I am proud to say that I have paid back a third of my debts already. I still have a very long way to go and I'll get there, but slowly as working this hard is taking its toll. I know that I'll be fine. I am looking forward to the day where I can say that I can start saving for the last part of my life again, where I am free of debt, where I can finally buy my grandchildren and children something for their birthdays again without turning over the pennies a million times.

I haven't lost faith in people. There are so many wonderful people out there who are genuine, honest and trustworthy.

I'd just like to let you all know that I haven't forgotten you. I am just toooo tired to go online that often, that's all.
Thank you all once again for all the help and support you gave me when I so desperately needed it. I truly appreciated/appreciate it.

Wishing you all everything of the best
Sofie

User avatar
FrumpyBB
Site Admin
Posts: 65261
Joined: Sun Apr 06, 2008 7:35 pm
Location: Central Europe


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby FrumpyBB » Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:52 pm

Congratulations, you are on a very good way up :) wish you all the best for the future! Please let also mathias know :)
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)

User avatar
The Wild Geese
RomanceScam Sponsor
RomanceScam Sponsor
Posts: 1010
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:05 pm
Location: Here and there


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby The Wild Geese » Mon Apr 02, 2012 8:46 pm

To you Sofie and other survivors,

I can understand your struggles to pay back your debts for the money you gave away to a heartless animal. Losing your money just made you stronger, because now you have a goal to live and work to get rid of your debts as fast as you can. Not that I say hurrah to the mugu! He made you stronger. No, not that way. It is just some way to divert your attentions to be able to ease the pains of being scammed. Yes, I was also been scammed once many years ago but I was not hurt as much as others did. I have other pains to deal with, problems to solve and jobs to attend to. That is why evil beings can not knock me down. Only life in real, something you had once, when taken away from you, sometimes feels unbearable. Yes life can be cruel. A friend of mine sent me a quotation when I was very down and felt just me against the whole world " When GOD solves your problems, you have faith in HIS abilities; when GOD doesn't solve your problems HE has faith in your abilities" Isn't these words a nice eye opener to those out there who almost lost faith in themselves?

The healing process is a difficult and a long process. It takes time and all your courage but with the passage of time you will reach the summit.

Take care! :kissing:
Nothing wrong of being an Engr. as long as you are real. :-)

marilynmonroe
Junior Poster
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:46 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe » Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:40 am

Thank you all for your stories on here. Truly if I had not found this site three weeks ago I would have still been paying my scammer and dealing with it on my own. Although it is heartening to hear that I am not alone as the stories are all very similar, it is also very disturbing that there are so many people out there who will stoop to anything to get money instead if working hard for it like all of us.

I am still dealing with my scammer, he is still emailing me, texting me and calling me. I can deal with this. What I cannot deal with is the fact he sent an email to my colleagues. Last week he was quoting people I know because he googled me (I am am member of a community and do a lot of community work and charity work).

I have told only a few fiends of what has happened and they have been nothing but supportive which I rally appreciate. I have not told my family because I am too ashamed. I stupidly went on a web cam unknowing that the scammer as recording it. Even after lots off discussion about me being uncomfortable with a web cam and his assurance that all would be ok ..... He still did this!

I am not having a good day today but I know one day I will be ok ......

It is hard to trust people now, there will always be a suspicion in the back of my mind.
Thank you all because without this I a not sure what I would do...

MM

User avatar
Pinky
Scam Buster
Posts: 3614
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:49 am
Location: USA


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:46 am

Hi MM. Sorry you found us this way, but we're happy if we can help.

Just to reassure you a bit about going on web cam: Most of these guys are in net cafes and boiler room type operations where they do not use their own computers. This means they rarely save anything that can't be stored in their email. Add to that, these guys are not tech savvy and very few of them even know how to record web cam and you can probably sleep a little easier knowing it's highly unlikely he's got video of you.

Of course he'll tell you he does but you also know he lies, right? It's just another tool to manipulate you to keep you paying. Don't fall for it. Also, you won't be getting your money back and he doesn't really love you and you'll never trip him up to find out who he really is (you'd be utterly astounded, appalled, horrified and disgusted if you did) and he'll never be prosecuted. So tell me why you're still communicating with him? Believe me when I say, dumping his ass cold is the best revenge you can get. Leave him wondering what went wrong. If you keep on with him, you'll only be teaching him how to scam better in the future.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

User avatar
Tomi
Junior Poster
Posts: 36
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:23 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Tomi » Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:04 am

Thanks THE WILD GEESE for your encouraging quote. That's what I need now as I about to start another phase of my healing. Now that I am almost healed emotionally and psychologically (big THANKS to all the people on this site with special mention to RUFFLED FEATHERS & MINERVA) though it will leave a permanent scar in me, I am starting the other recovery, the financial one. It may not be easy but I believe and have great faith that in God's help, I could do it and so are the rest of survivors.

To all the people working on this site: admins, moderators, scam baiters/catchers, contributors, fellow survivors: THANKS!!! May you not get tired and run out of strength to keep fighting. Continue fighting the good fight with the hope that at the end we will will win this battle. Advance HAPPY EASTER to all. :)

marilynmonroe
Junior Poster
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:46 am


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe » Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:32 am

Thanks Pinky,
I question my self as to why I kept communicating with him for months. Is stopped all communication after i found him on this website. Unfortunatley this one does have videos, he sent them to me the day after I was on the web cam. He put them on skydrive. I deleted them from my end in complete disgust so I can no longer access them but I am sure he still has a copy. I do not think this one was in an internet cafe but he is certainly a scammer. He has so many different profiles on facebook, tagged, my space etc.

He sent an email to collegues yesterday and that has really left me in dispair.

I really do appreciate this website and the support you give your members.
MM

User avatar
Pinky
Scam Buster
Posts: 3614
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:49 am
Location: USA


Bookmark and Share

Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:14 pm

I am still dealing with my scammer, he is still emailing me, texting me and calling me. I can deal with this.
I took this to mean that you were still communicating with him.

It is unfortunate that you seem to have gotten hooked by one of the more proficient of these scam boys. I can't tell you who he is exactly, but I can tell you what he is. He is around age 23, a very black African, probably Nigerian. He's from a middle class family background, with the equivalent of a high school education. He's focused on English as a second language and Internet technology and probably did well in those subjects. He isn't very physically attractive and is incredibly lazy so he doesn't have much marriage, family and employment potential. His solution to this problem is to get rich quick, drive around in a nice car, sport flashy jewelry, hang out drinking, flash his money around and hook himself a local female who won't care how he got his money. He is a racist and hates white westerners, believing that they are stupid and easily fleeced of money. What's more he justifies this by believing God sanctifies his deceit because white people stole slaves and resources from Africa. Furthermore, he has no conscience or remorse for what he does, doesn't care that he hurts people and lies with unparalleled skill, which makes him a sociopath.

You would probably do yourself and the world a favor if you showed this to your colleagues to explain what they've been contacted by. And as I've stated before you - and your colleagues - should not respond to him at all. The quickest way to get this little cockroach to move on is to not give him the attention he is seeking.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

Return to “Support and Advice.”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 51 guests