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Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.




The Healing Process

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Igulinka
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:01 pm

then why would he ask me to send a suitcase and phone to him in Nigeria so his agents could send it to his base in Pakistan cause he wasn't allowed to receive shipments due to security reasons.
There is no base in Pakistan. There is NOT any security reasons. Simply no online vendor will ship to West Africa because there are strict terms and conditions and online stores are well informed about cyber scammers.... There is only West African dirty and crowded internet cafe.

Victims are very often ask to send phones, laptops I pads to scammers....they promise better communication. Also when victims buy phone in "add a line" subscription to the existing plan they end up paying huge bills for international calls all over the word scammers make daily to the hundreds off recipients. It happened to my several scammed friends....
What was happened in this crime : scammer simply wanted to turn you into his MULE. He wanted you to accept a suitcase full of goods bought on internet with stolen from other victims credit cards or bank accounts. This way your name and address as a compliance in the scam would be known as a thief who stole credit card.... Trust me scammers don't spend their crime profits on victims. There is always another's innocent person money used to buy merchandise for reshipping. Unfortunately scammers are sociopaths and they do not care about their victims. If you end up in federal prison as a convicted mule they wouldn't care less.

Please read the info from FBI:
MULE may be asked to receive goods, purchased online through fraudulently obtained funds, and requested to forward these on to an overseas address. A promised payment may sometimes be arranged, however in most romance scam related cases, promises of a new life together often substitute any monetary gain for the victim.
Have you met someone online that has asked you to receive funds or goods on their behalf? Quite simply, this is money laundering and any individual assisting these criminals can be prosecuted and have their whole bank account frozen. A conviction for an offence of money laundering may carry a penalty of up to 20 years imprisonment.

Nothing makes sense and I feel I need to know why. I really like to hurt all of these people who have hurt me. I feel very angry inside like i could just beat the living crap out of them for what they have done. But mostly I hate myself and feel very ashamed i fell for this. :heartbroken:
The scammer had you well programmed, groomed to do his will. He fed your emotional emptiness and that is what led romance scams victims to fall for the attention and emotional bond that would fill the void in our lives. You will experience anticipation attacks because you were groomed to the scammer schedule, the hours the scammer worked into your daily routine; knocking you off schedule and depriving you of needed rest and family time.

Scammers quickly pick up on our emotional void and loneliness so that is a cue for the scammer to groom the victim with online affection and promises the scammer knows will never come true. Scammers do not feel empathy, they don't fall in love nor do they become committed to the romance scam victims. Scammers only build illusions woven out of lies and elaborate illusions.

Unfortunately for the victim, when we reach this stage the illusion is imbibed so deep into our mind, heart and soul, our emotions blinding our intellectual and logical understanding, and we begin to believe this is the exception to the rule; we ignore all the red flags. Not one scammer has turned out to be real, nor honestly in love with their victims. No matter how many hours they spend communicating with the victim; it was all a carefully orchestrated illusion of love, an online romances scam.

Some victims will come to the realization and acceptance of the fact we were scammed, but will continue to want the relationship with the scammer; leaving the victim to think the scammer is experiencing honest feelings towards the victim, which is exactly what the scammers want their online victims to think. The fact is the relationship never did exist.

After the victim loses not only the money, we are left feeling hurt, humiliated, angry and ashamed.... And those are the intentions of the online scammer and the scam ring.
Too me i still see him as the military soldier he portrayed himself to be and to see pics of the actually person whose pics he stole it makes me wonder if this person actually scammed me that has a family and too see this person with his wife and child causes me great pain in my heart. I think well either he scammed me or his pics were actually stolen.
Scammer chooses the correct picture and profile to hide behind. Scammers know they do not fit the image a man or woman is seeking in a relationship, scammers use the stolen photos to lure victims into a romance scam; the stolen photos are the MOST POWERFULvisual tools scammers use to entice romance scam victims.
Scammers do not exist as the person in the image; not even the PHOTO VICTIM in the picture exists. The photo victim does not even know the romance scam victim is deeply in love with their image.

Hope it will help you to go through, please delete the stolen picture because it DON'T BELONG to the awful criminal who reads to you pre-written scam script.

Igulinka :)
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

Re: The Healing Process

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oncescammed
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Tue Aug 26, 2014 3:01 am

That check he had given me he wanted to see if it would clear before he came home from being stationed in Pakistan as he claimed it was from all his investments he had and he showed me some documents on them so I never had any doubt about the what he told me.

I was so shocked when this happened as I still cry from that day when i was informed about the check. I just really don't want this to happen to anyone else. I stayed to see if he was for real if and when he did come home and when he didn't get off the plane in april and the things that happened after that it was then I knew he was a fake a fraud. I held out to see for myself despite what anyone said to me as my whole life i went by what others said not following my own heart and dreams for myself and life. I had to see and learn for me and i held out until the end as i didn't want to look back on my life and think what if. the possibility at love and to be a family with our kids. MIne and his. So now i know and trying to close this chapter and move on.

Never ever give your money to someone online you never met or accept things from them as gifts. send them back just as i did.

Be extra careful if they try to order things on a website such as Wal-Mart for example and ask you to pick it up at your local Wal-Mart then return it get the money back for it and purchase something more expensive and who knows what from there. They tried doing that to me I said hell no uh ah no way not doing that. They would send stuff in my name without my knowledge.

The more I talk this out I see now I was dealing with criminals. I didn't see it back then cause i was blinded by love and going to be a family at least that is what i thought.

Just please anyone man or woman be careful out there.

Goodluck to all.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Tue Aug 26, 2014 3:20 am

it was good the phone didn't work that i sent him as he ended up needing a sim card for it and he said no one on base had one but would try to buy one.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby username0826 » Wed Aug 27, 2014 5:41 am

Wishes all the scammer in the world got punishment soon by The God.. life of some human could be canged due of like this situation...we put our trust on God..oneday bad thing will return to the scammer..all victim make a prayer of it and i sure God heard all the voice of victim in prayer n cry , because the victim was honestly to help others..

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:22 am

I am sharing this for all to see as this is a letter i wrote about my experience to someone who had been scammed as well.
My experience with this Eric Robert Hartford claimed to be a military man stationed in Pakistan.
I don't want anyone to go through what I did and please listen to me to avoid heartache and financial pains.


I am so embarrassed as I read your response. He had items sent to my address once and then he had some shoes sent to my address long ago years that he needed but i sent them back to the company. He did give me a check that turned out being fake and the bank did freeze my account about a year ago. The bank had frozen my hard earned money cause of that check that just sat in a savings account but never cashed as he said and showed me proof this check came from investments so stupid me fell for it. i never have done anything that stupid and i never knew it was fake. oh god no. i recall at the bank i went to see why i couldn;t access my own money and they said it was cause of the check i began to cry and about fell out of my chair at the bank. I wanted to kill myself that day as i left the bank. i finally talked to another banker at another location and he was nicer than the first one who accused me of knowingly passing a fraudulent check. i said like hell i did. Lucky for me i guess i had all my conversations between me and this person that have him talking about the check during our conversation at one point and i handed all i had over to the bank and cooperated fully with the bank.

I never ever knew and feel so ashamed inside and very embarrassed i fell for this all. i wish i could change all of this but i can't. the bank had said they just wanted to sever all ties with me back then.

He claimed the FBI came after at his base in Pakistan and they had contacted his whatever they call them captain or leader in the military i don't know i can't recall what he said back then. he claimed he was going to the airport and the FBI arrested him and detained him as his fellow soldiers took him in.

he had a woman send money to my checking account back then before this check thing happened and he claimed it was from his investment and i needed to send it to his agent in nigeria. i believed him so i did.

well to make a long story short back in i think it was april he was to come home and he never did he had claimed he was arrested by the fbi again cause of the check. his whole big reason for those years he never came home as to why he couldn't access his military money was cause it was frozen in his account back home and couldn't so anything until he was home. well after a bit i said well you are home now walk your ass down to the bank and get your money released. after that i didn't hear much from him except i got an email from one of his so called soldier friends for more money. i said NOPE no way. After a bit he said well the fbi are after you for money laundering for that money he had sent to your account from that woman and i needed to send money to get a file to prove i had nothing to do with this that he claimed this nigerian agent had.
I said nope now way. I felt to myself if they want me i will handle it and i think i began to sentence my ownself for this and all that happened and prepare myself for prision cause of his threat. in some way i began to prepare for what could happen to me. even though i was innocent and never ever knowingly would ever do something like this i began to sentence my ownself to make the transition to prison. i lived in fear of the FBI would be at home when i came home from work. i recall telling my doctor this and she had said they want him not you. i really began to prepare to have my son looked after as he still is a young child and i am his only parent in his life as he has a dad who doesn't take an interest in his life. i think when i began to challenge him back then and say well your home now get your own money that was when it began to fall apart for him. I had contacted legal counsel and told me this was a scam and asked if local police ever contacted me and i said no. he said this is all a scam.

i don't worry as much about the FBI threats but if they ever wanted to talk i would. i got nothing to hide and am still here. go to work everyday and get my son to school and home take care of my home and my son and pay my bills.


i know i can't undo all of this all i can do is move forward and accept whatever consequences come my way. i lost my home in 2013 cause of a promise to come home and he never did. i have a mound of money to pay back for money i borrowed to help him. rebuilding my son's trust in me and to know his mommie will keep him safe in all ways.

i made a terrible mistake all cause i wanted to be happy and be a happy family with someone.

i wish i had only knew then what i know now. i feel so ashamed. many regrets.

but you are right i need to delete his pics he ever sent me and move on for me.

my heart aches but i will make it through,

thank you for listening and being there even though i don't know you.

i paid a big price for all of this.

i feel so ashamed of myself,

I never realized I was scammed until he claimed he was in NYC detained by the FBI and said he needed money and then later the FBI released him he claimed after trial and needed money for medical expenses. I said well you are home now and you needed to be home to get your money out of the bank so march your ass down to the bank and get your money. That was when the threats began. I blocked his ass. This was all in April of this year.
I was in denial for so long until he supposidly came home. That was when I woke up and realized things for what they were.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Mon Sep 01, 2014 5:26 am

After the check thing happened with the bank back in March of 2013 I was very angry,scared,fearful,wanted to die literally. By that point I became so furious with things and this Eric Robert Hartford I just put myself in overdrive and felt like I was in the fight for my life cause that is what it felt like a fight for my life as this check was no small amount but I had handed over the conversations to the bank to prove my innocense that I under no way knew anything about this being a fraudulent check as I am a honest hardworking person. I didn't give a shit what happened to this creep when all of this happened. I recall him saying he was gonna kill this Peter Williams. He had claimed that this Peter Williams went around states here in the USA and got this Eric Robert Hartfords investment money and written in one check.
After the check thing happened i don't know how he did this but he sucked me back in saying Peter Williams wrote a fake check and the FBI were after him and he smoothed and sweet talked his way with me and i fell for him and everything all over again. e convinced me that he had nothing to do with this. I used to wonder how and why women could get roped up in things like this with men who are bad men. Well my experience here helped me answer that and it isn't the woman it is the men who are using lies,manipulation,ultitmatiums and guilt trips to get what they want. They don't care about the women they are using and what happens to them.
I feel such pain and sadness at my loss. I know I lost a lot of my hard earned money and as I drove home tonight from work I felt I could just kick myself in the ass for this. I lost my sense of security where I was always looking over my shoulder and watching people around to see what they were up to. I treated everyone in public as an enemy as I think i felt a host of feelings in my heart that caused me to become leary of everyone. I wasn't myself.

If i could turn back the clock and change it all of this i would. All i can do is keep in the path of the good Lord and muddle through this.

I feel a sense of emotional loss in me.

Please don't fall victim to someone who does these things. Listen to what your inner voice is telling you cause I didn't.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Thu Sep 04, 2014 11:48 pm

Today I just feel so hurt in my heart and I only say that cause I have so much debt cause of this Eric Robert Hartord aka Chris Hartford. I have six payday loans out for money i gave him as I am paying on three of them and only two of them are willing to work with me the third they are just a bunch of pain in the asses when i talk to them and I am too the point to tell them just piss off as I am doing my best here and I have even told my story of being scammed to some of them. I have three others I have to pay on.
I could kick myself in the ass as cause all this experience has done is give me more debt on top the debt my ex husband left me with as I am no further ahead now than i was before I met this asshole Eric Robert Hartford. If I could have one moment that would be to see him and knock his lights out in one punch to the face. I feel so angry in my heart. I don't know if I am angry at myself or at him or both or the situation now or maybe all of thee above. I feel so angry I want to deck him and I could.

What an asshole he is and was. Pond scum. I feel now in my heart I was taken completely advantage of by this asshole.I am in such shock and disbelief. I hate myself for being his victim. :cry:

I have lost in tune to over 30,000 of my hard earned money and money borrowed I am paying back to other's i borrowed from.

I have the stress of being a single Mother doing it all alone,working 50 plus hours a week,my child's schooling and how he handles things with his disability socially,finances,taking care of the house and taking care of me. I hate myself. All I wanted was to be a family two parents and a child or children and he lead me to believe we were gonna be that. He even went as far to having me looking for a house in a neighboring town nearby cause he liked it and wanted room for his motorcycle. I recall asking him if he needed a man cave and he said no as he laughed. I loved him so much by all the dreams we talked of and things we both were looking for and our interests. We seemed to click and everything seemed so right. I know it is not my fault but i am heartbroken. as i thought all my dreams were coming true of a family together in love and happiness. :heartbroken:

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby oncescammed » Thu Sep 04, 2014 11:52 pm

I like to step on his chest with my shoe and put pressure on his heart so he can feel the pressure and pain i feel inside and I take out all he did to me on him. I think about that a lot doing that. Maybe I would feel better that I vented on him. He is such a d***. :(

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Fri Sep 05, 2014 12:02 am

You're in a stage of grief and how you're feeling is perfectly understandable. It will pass. Rant away here if it helps. I think it will also help if you distract yourself with something that will focus your attention on others. Is there a charity or organization that you are passionate about helping? You don't have to spend money. Just your time and talents.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby JulieNP » Fri Sep 05, 2014 1:40 am

Oncescammed - absolutely natural feelings! I dream every once in awhile about finding my scammer and castrating him (after all I am trained to do that). It's been almost a year since I realized I was scammed and while there are more days than not that I don't think about it - there are days that I still do and I also wonder "why me?" and then I realize it was because I have a huge heart and all I have ever wanted is what we all want which is a great relationship with a fabulous guy - my scammer promised that as well. I am now in a beautiful relationship with a fabulous man who knows everything and is very supportive of my baiting - even asks "how's the husband in Nigeria today" - it's a running joke. My point is the same as Pinky's we are here for you - rant away - let it out and let us listen. Don't give up because it sounds like you have a lot to live for and you definitely bring more to the table as a person than that low life POS who scammed you does! Keep remembering: Karma is a bitch!

Julie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby BCat2014 » Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:09 am

It is so heart wrenching to know that this still continues. I was so consumed with this "love affair" that I lost touch of reality. As resilient as I am, I could not avoid the extreme stress this situation caused me. I literally became ill. I went from the epitome of health and wellness to being hospitalized on various occasions, forced to take various prescription medications... INSANITY! Now that I've had time to feel, deal, and heal, I can truly say there is life after being scammed. Yes, it still bothers me, but I choose not to dwell on it. I'm back and better than ever. A picture is worth a thousand words...

Hang in there everyone... it may seem IMPOSSIBLE and AGONIZING once you're faced with the reality of the situation, but it will pass. Make the choice to move forward no matter what it takes. If nothing changes... then nothing changes. That includes our perception, our actions, and our willingness to accept, acknowledge, forgive ourselves and those that have broken us, and rebuild...

Nothing is impossible with God. Nothing.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:31 am

BCat2014

I am sorry to hear what you're going through . I completely understand your pain as I was walking in the same shoes. I got myself so sick over the scam that I had to stop working for a while and get better.

Yes , during the scam you loose touch with reality. Scammer had you well programmed and manipulated...Unfortunately for the victim, when we reach this stage the illusion is embedded so deep into our mind, heart and soul, our emotions blinding our intellectual and logical understanding, and we begin to believe this is the exception to the rule; we ignore all the red flags. Not one scammer has turned out to be real, nor honestly in love with their victims. No matter how many hours they spend communicating with the victim; it was all a carefully orchestrated illusion of love, an online romances scam.

For the scammer it is business as usual and they continue their scam with multiple romance scam victims at one time.

After the victim loses not only the money, we are left feeling hurt, humiliated, angry and ashamed....
And those are the intentions of the online scammer and the scam ring. After the scam we need to learn new responsibility, we need to find the way to change ourselves ...work through our healing process possibly with those who understand and de-program from scammer's schedule and abuse.... Victims learn how to deal with financial responsibility and debtors. Learning a new way to manage and save our finances and manage our time to attend to financial issues and not ignore them. When you learn to love you before any other person you do not search for anyone to feed your emotional emptiness because you do not hunger for it anymore. We move forward, we bring new activity into our lives , which leads us to meet new people.
I am happy with friendships for the time being.

Dwelling on the scam prolongs healing process. There is centrally life after the scam ...People learn how to trust again ,love and being loved....
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Mary55 » Sun Oct 05, 2014 12:20 pm

I've decided, my pain, my disappointment to write my anger at myself here. I am ashamed so much that this happened to me. Over a year with this false person to chat and make calls has ruined my life, now that I know that it was all fraud. If I'm honest, I've already noticed many months that something is wrong with this man. But I did not want to have true and paid always on. My life is so damaged that it is determined by hospital stays. Unfortunately, I have entrusted to me until after one year my girlfriend, but I could predict her anything because I was embarrassed and I still had hope that this man comes to me. I am so glad that I told my girlfriend, because now I can talk to her about it and she helps me so much. This man has destroyed my heart and my soul. I hope there comes a day when the pain stops, I hope the day comes where I can lead a normal life again. I hope the day comes where I do not have to cry. Why was I so blind and did not respond to the mistakes? I've seen the mistakes. It is incredible that this man writes that he would die if I send any money for the hospital. I did not want people live have on his conscience. I would therefore can not live. But now ... is my own life in danger ... because I have given my life for this man.
I want to stop here ... the pain is just too strong. The last contact with this man's only been one week. The calls do not stop.
Thank you have listened to me.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby FrumpyBB » Sun Oct 05, 2014 5:50 pm

I know you will get out of this. But it may take a while to trust new people again :(
Maybe you can ask Hula-Girl if she shares her the-way-out-of-it-journal with you. http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... 65#p362065" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; (this is only our translation, the first 9 months are already translated)
I wish I had had some better (more encouraging) answers for you last week. But there is truely no need to be ashamed, from an objective point of view. It is fraud and they are criminal gangs. We´ve found a few new "John Mageaus" today, from Nigeria, just now. There must be thousands working just this picture set. It is big business and heavily organized in Nigeria.
Please try your best to block ALL your scammer´s still incoming messages and calls!

What is all this? => The FAQ

The scammers vs. Why is "he" still doing it?

Why is alerting the man in the pictures DANGEROUS?

Please click why confronting my scammer is terribly wrong :)

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Mon Oct 06, 2014 3:00 am

Mary55

Please understand you have nothing to be ashamed. It was horrible crime committed by worst of the worse online criminals. They didn't tell you they were scammers...how could you know then ?

Everything what you did it was act of your good heart. Please do not forget that you were deeply brainwashed and manipulated by whole ring of them.
At a very young age some West African children are chosen and trained to learn to manipulate and control online users once they are in contact with a target. Added to this is the fact that such manipulation leaves them without any feeling of guilt or remorse. Scammers begin to shed any emotions like crying, feeling sorry, shame, etc. To the contrary, it leaves them with a feeling of satisfaction that encourages them to continue manipulating victims, regardless of the cost to the giver, the targeted victims.
They are self-educated and know how to be extremely sociable, although they are anti-social which means lacking any social conscience. Their charm and sincerity are empty of any real concern. They have the innate ability to easily compartmentalize their different characters, victims, and on-going scams.

Once the scam is over, suddenly, without warning, you have to come to terms with the fact that you have been scammed,—The effect is devastating....During the entire manipulation, you are being emotionally positioned so that when the scammer disappears, you will feel as if you were pushed off into oblivion. In effect, you were.
You need to learn to occupy yourself and deprogram from scammer's manipulation and you will for sure just like we all did.
Please try to think about ending the scam as it is a new beginning of better life. Now no one will lie to you and steal from you anymore. You will learn how to protect yourself online and in everyday life. You have control back in your hands. Soon you will learn you can raise new hope, faith, trust and your dream.... It will take time , his shade will fade and you will heal your heart... Please believe it does get better. We all here are better and we are here and always listen if you need to talk to someone who feels the way you feel.

Be well friend :)
Confronting the scammer is WRONG!!! DON'T enlighten criminals with your wisdom. REPORT & BLOCK.
PHOTO VICTIM - "Do not confront the owner of the pictures, as they are victims themselves! You will only serve to further the terror and harm !" Silence Is Golden!!! I speak Polish.

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