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Romance Scam

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The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
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Pinky
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Mon Dec 31, 2012 9:53 pm

It sounds like you're on the right track, doing all you can do. It takes time to heal, so give yourself that much at least. Get plenty of rest. Don't pace yourself by anyone's rate, except what you feel is best for you.

I can tell you what I would do, because I am a very social person with family and friends I know that love me. I would find my best friend or my daughter and confide. I would cry, because they would let me, and then I'd ask them to do things with me, to distract me from my sadness. I'd go to movies and lunches, visit someone old in a nursing home, bake cookies for kids, donate blood, or any number of things that wouldn't cost me money but would make me feel like I was helping someone. Even lending a hand and your story here on this site is helping others. This is what makes me forget my problems faster. Good luck and best wishes to you. Happy New Year!
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

Re: The Healing Process

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Anabella
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Anabella » Mon Dec 31, 2012 10:00 pm

Thank you Pinky your so sweet. I feel a little bit better now. Happy new year...... Kind regards Anabella

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:49 pm

Dear Annabella
Just to wish you a great year ahead without that silly person! It will take a bit of time to get over it, sure, that's normal... You can do it, never give up, things will get better slowly. In March 2013 it'll be two years since I discovered my fate and it takes ages to heal emotionally let alone financially (if at all), but time eases the pain and one meets so many precious, honest generous loving and genuine people on RS and in one's immediate circle which makes things easier to cope with although this is such a huge task so soon after the discovery. Take care of yourself Annabella! Again, very best wishes to you as well as the wonderful team on RS-you're not alone if that helps!
Sofie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:50 pm

sorry, I spelt your name incorrectly, Anabella! :-(

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The Wild Geese
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby The Wild Geese » Thu Jan 03, 2013 8:42 am

Hello my dearest Sofie,
Nice seeing you here again.
I'll write you more somewhere else.
You are so dear to me beautiful girl :kissing:
Nothing wrong of being an Engr. as long as you are real. :-)

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Thu Jan 03, 2013 9:28 pm

and for me you are so beautiful, inside and out Wild Geese. You are one of the those dear people I'd never have met had it not been for what happened. I'm so happy and lucky to know you. Thank you for your kind words WG. Speak soon! <3

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby gulliblegus » Fri Jan 04, 2013 3:26 am

I am so thankful that I have discovered RS. It has helped me so much. When realizing that I had been scammed...well words can not describe what I was going through. I communicated with this person for 2 months. When he didn't show up at the airport, that's when reality hit. I was in denial for a few days..... like I was in a nightmare. A couple of close friends knew I had met someone on an online sight and that he was supposedly coming to see me, but I could not tell them that I had sent this person quite a bit of money. I could not share that with anyone. I beat myself up.... I can't believe that I was so stupid and gullible...to where it got to a point that I was thinking suicide. All I was looking for was love and a special person to spend the rest of my life with. My prayers were answered. What a fool I have been. I have to say that reading other posts from victims like myself has helped and being able to share my hurt helps too. Time does heal the hurt, but it will always be there... the pain that this scammer caused me.... the emotions involved and the trust I had in him..... the heart ache he caused. I know that keeping busy helps so much and that as each day goes by I find myself thinking less about him which is a blessing, because at one point I was obsessed with him and the thought of having someone who loved me so much in my life. Again thank you for letting me share my hurt.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby zetaarnold » Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:13 am

Welcome, Gulliblegus:
We know that is a hard moment, but for sure, you can count with wonderful and real people on this site. Be kind to yourself and do not punish you. You are a good person who need love and believe in a wrong ugly person. Stay strong.
:hugz:
"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark..." Shakespeare

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:36 pm

Dear Gulliblegus

Don't be too hard on yourself. Your story could be mine except for the length of time and most probably the sum of money you sent- I was more of a sucker! I also went to the airport to fetch him.... I was also very low, thank God for RS and my children who saved me from doing anything silly! Time makes things easier to cope with. One doesn't forget but try to put all this behind yourself as quickly as possible so you can heal and live again. Please feel free to contact me anytime you need me. If you don't want to write here then send me a PM (private message). I'm here for you, I understand totally what you're going through as do all the people on RS.

Take good care of yourself and stop questioning your doings, it simply doesn't help. Accept the fact that one can't change what has happened and look forward. Let other people come into your heart and share your pain- it makes it easier to bear. You are a lovely person, a person ready to help those in need. The world needs us too. Have a good year Gulliblegus and be thankful that your year will be without this oxygen thief in your life!

Remember I'm here for you.
Take care
Sofie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby venus » Sun Jan 06, 2013 11:18 pm

I also find it difficult to remove the wondeful brittish accent voice and pictures out of my head,,and the so much kind words he used within our chatting..I only chatted for roughly almost 3 months but again all was so promising..at first I was in denial,,with no crying for about a week and just wanted to keep talking to him even thought I knew he was a scammer, I spent alot of time chatting if I wasn't working and even then would make arrangements to wake in the middle of the night so we would not miss each other..but in my mind I am trying to remove the voice and pictures and tell myself it really wasn't him..It has only been almost 4 days now that I have cancelled all contact and it is still very hard..perhaps now its time for my heart to start feeling the hurt instead of a wall and let my eyes water as much as they can so I can go through this the way I should...I feel for everyone who got hurt the way I did..and I know its very hard..but I have learned alot with this experience and all the reading i have done on this site and it is true it does help to talk about it...certain things remind me of my scammer and it will take time to actually get over it...i still pick up my mobile several times a day in hoping there is a text..then i realize I let him go and not the opposite..i really never thought this could happen to me since i was always careful..but then again I do believe everything happens for a reason..not sure what this one was but one day I will know why?? time to let go...and let the emotions take its course..good luck all..

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:49 pm

Dear Venus
No matter what, just remember that the wonderful words and the voice etc you are hearing in your echoic memory are not genuine- it's a voice of a nasty evil black man, empty words without meaning. Be thankful that you of free of this evil being. Start the year new. Good Luck and lots of strength Venus. You'll get there, it just takes time and this is hard to cope with.
Best wishes
Sofie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Mon Jan 07, 2013 9:51 pm

Dear Gulliblegus
I can't post you a pm as you have this function turned off... My message is waiting for you.
Take care
Sofie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby venus » Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:37 am

Dear Venus
No matter what, just remember that the wonderful words and the voice etc you are hearing in your echoic memory are not genuine- it's a voice of a nasty evil black man, empty words without meaning. Be thankful that you of free of this evil being. Start the year new. Good Luck and lots of strength Venus. You'll get there, it just takes time and this is hard to cope with.
Best wishes
Sofie
Thank you Sofie

Im sure it will get better with time, but I try to control the emotions and realized my heart must cry to relieve the pressure..and cannot be controlled I am so happy for this site as my friends would not understand what i am going through even though they are supportive..here we all know, the words and promisses that were said by our scammers its like we are connected in a way as i would of not shared my conversations with my friends..I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel..and really hope i see it again one day..

be strong to all...
venus

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Isctcmn » Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:30 am

How does a person recover from being scammed twice in 6 months-there was no money transaction in the 2nd scam-I was on to him in 3 days-but how do "I" keep targeted-so I can change or eliminate that factor

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby The Wild Geese » Sat Jan 12, 2013 8:16 am

Isctcmn wrote
how do "I" keep targeted-so I can change or eliminate that factor
The best and safest way is, just accept people you can meet for a cup of cofee, search their references and don't act that you are desperate to find somebody. You'll see that the real people will be your hits. I know that there are real people in the internet.
Happy hunting ladies and gents! :kissing:
Nothing wrong of being an Engr. as long as you are real. :-)

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