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Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.




The Healing Process

Emotional Support, Compassionate Friends
marilynmonroe
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe » Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:17 am

Thank you so much Tomi, Ruffled Feathers, Holly Louis, Pinky and Sofie.

Your words of encouragement and support mean a great deal to me and I really appreciate the time you have taken to respond to my note and the offer of ongoing support.

I guess there are ups and downs with this and it is a grieving process because much has been lost but I really do take solace in the fact that I am not alone and I am not stupid by reading the many stories on here.

Today is an okay day ..... I hope you all have a lovely weekend. :)

Re: The Healing Process

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Sofie
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Fri Apr 27, 2012 11:03 pm

Shock!!! I don't know if many of you know WhatsApp but I was visiting a girlfriend this evening and we chatted about certain things- WhatsApp amongst the topics. I showed her my list of favourites as she had a problem and lo and behold, what did I see? My scammer is on WhatsApp (a free or pay 1Euro for the service and you can send texted messages for free) and he was online a few minutes before. He's new to this too as I would have had his name on my favourite list ages ago should he have been active prior to this discovery. I'm shocked and so wish this could lead to him being found at the end of my telephone but know that this is not the case. Why can't we catch these awful beings?

I wouldn't dream of contacting him but just like I see when he was last online- he can check on the people he scammed too. I so wish these awful creatures could be caught.

Just had to share my shock with you. Sorry! I'm just dumbfounded

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Pinky
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:39 am

Sofie, you can never be sure it's 'Your' scammer. More than likely it's only one of a number of them using the same pictures. Never-the-less, it is a scammer. If it's a paid profile, report it to the site administrators. If not, leave it alone and just post in our forum where the pictures are, the new user name and site he's on.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Sun Apr 29, 2012 8:25 pm

Thanks for this advice Pinky. I have no new info- am not interested to even try and find out. Just thought I'd report this to the police who are dealing/dealt with my case. I know it won't change things for me but if I can prevent any one of them, I will. Thanks agian Pinky, I appreciate your help, care, knowledge & advice.
Have a good start to your week. Best wishes, Sofie

marilynmonroe
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe » Mon Apr 30, 2012 12:39 am

Dear Sophie
It is always a bit of a jolt when something like that happens ...... take care of yourself and remember these people are evil and do not deserve us even thinking of them. As hard as that is because It is in my mind every minute of the day.

Take care :) MM

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:24 am

Dear MM
Thanks to you too for the moral support. And yes, I know they are not worth it. I am a very positive person on the whole but also find it hard to forget this 'oxygen thief' as he changed my life totally. I can't forget my financial status for a minute for a few years to come... but I'm strong and I'll get there. RS & my kids saved my life by being there. Chin up and look forward, smiling! Take care too MM and thanks again, Sofie

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Holly Louis » Mon Apr 30, 2012 2:08 pm

Dear MM and Sofie, I know how hard it is at the moment for you both, but hang in there it really does get better.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Sofie » Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:37 pm

Dear Holly Louis
Thanks to you too. I know it gets better even when one has lost loads. It's just hard to always be positive and fine. But I really try to be and think I am, mostly. I'm thankful for what I have and what I have managed to make possible in the year since I was caught, hook, line & sinker! I wish you every success and luck too, Thanks again & Bw, Sofie

marilynmonroe
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby marilynmonroe » Tue May 01, 2012 1:08 pm

Thank you so much Holly Louis .... I really appreciate the support and kind words.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak » Sat May 05, 2012 9:50 pm

I NEVER thought I'd be posting on a RS forum - thought I'd checked all the "signs". His facebook profile had about 20 pictures and that's the only reason I friended him and continued talking with him. Plus, the work he said he was doing in the UK was actually something going on at this time. I even checked white pages in the town where he "lives" and there were several people with his name who lived there. His wife had died of cancer and he accepted a contract overseas to occupy his mind. It all seemed so real and something I desperately needed at the time. Wow! This is the first time I've been able to shed any tears over this scam! My parents had died within a few days of each other and my brother (who was my best friend) died of cancer six months later. I really needed a friend, but was I that desperate??? It seemed so right and I thought I was being very cautious. I kept asking, "Why me?" He was 8 years younger and a very nice looking man. Since there were so many pictures on his profile - various places and with various people - you could tell they were of him at different ages - did the scammer steal someone's identity? I'm fortunate that the only thing he took from me was my heart. I don't have extra money nor do I have credit cards. If I did have the money, I'm wondering if I would have sent him the money he sought? I did tell him I had several "friends" that started playing on my sympathy and asking for money and let him know up front that I will not send money to anyone I don't know. I guess he thought after I fell in love with him that I'd change my mind. Our relationship lasted four months before he asked me to help him financially. In a way, he took something of greater value than money - my trust. I've had a number of failed relationships and haven't dated anyone in a long time because I felt I just couldn't trust men anymore. I don't have anyone who would understand what I'm going though - I'm glad I found this site -

Ruffled Feathers
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Ruffled Feathers » Sat May 05, 2012 10:27 pm

Hello Carlottak
I just finished reading your post, please believe me, you are not alone and you will find that many people on this site are here to help and guide you through the healing process. Many of us have been through what you are going through and as we have healed, we reach out to help the new victims.
You must always remember you did nothing wrong, your scammer led you to believe his lies and actually what he was really after was your bank account, which fortunately you were not able to supply what he wanted - money. You must always remember, these are evil people and you just got caught up in all his lies.
I am sorry you had to go through all of this, but you will find as you heal, you will be a much stronger person for the experience. Your recovery now is the most important thing, you must get rest and eat properly in order for your mind and heart to heal, and I promise you, you will become stronger everyday that passes.
Block all contact with this devil, do not answer his emails, phone calls or skype messages ---- NO contact with him ever again. The next thing you can do to help in your healing, is to post all information about him, including his email address, IP address, and headers and any pictures you have, this will serve as a warning to others about this devil - low life. If you require help in any way, ask for it and someone will be right with you to advise you through this terrible hurt. Please start by taking care of yourself.
If you wish to talk to me again, just send me a PM and I will answer you immediately. RF

carlottak
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak » Sat May 05, 2012 11:13 pm

Thank you RF - I no longer have any contact with him - He knows he's been caught in a scam and has deleted his facebook profile. I will post pictures and information that I have on him as I know there are other sites that are using some of these pictures.

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Pinky
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Sun May 06, 2012 12:52 am

It's a shame he knows he's been caught. He made new profiles with new names and email addresses and was back to work on scamming in 15 minutes time. But still, please expose all you can on the information he was using. I promise you, you were not the only one he was scamming under that old name. When his other victims get suspicious and google, they will find what you post. At this point, he will tell them that you were just an sick or mad woman he broke up with and you posted him for spite, or he will tell them that his identity was stolen, but what you post will plant those seeds of doubt. Be sure to mention any little quirky things that other women might notice, like a manner of speech he has or how he misspells certain words, or maybe some of his story; whatever you can think of. There are others like you and they could be sending him money right now.

Besides, if you post his info, we have people here who bait these guys just to waste their time and frustrate them. Get some payback on us. ;)
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

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Tomi
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Tomi » Sun May 06, 2012 1:08 am

Hi Carlottak,

Sorry for what you had been through. RF is right, you are not alone and we're here to support and understand you. They are the lowest form of criminals and will use all fabrication of stories to make their deception believable to serve their one and only purpose, money. It's so okay to shed tears, they are a sign of a pure heart, a heart that has been deceived, hurt and wounded. Know always that we're here to help you walk through your healing process.

They are also right, please post all the infos that you had of this scammer. It will help others and you as well.

And Carlottak, I am sorry too for the loss of your family. I wish you well.

Tomi

carlottak
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby carlottak » Sun May 06, 2012 2:53 am

Thank you Pinky and Tomi! As time allows, I will post more information on "Marcus" and I'm thankful for those who are willing to help me through the healing process. It's good to know this will take time - I was beginning to think I was crazy for the way I was feeling. I must take Ruffled Feathers advise and take care of my health. I had lost 30 lbs. while chatting with Marcus as I am overweight and wanted to look as good as possible when we finally got to meet. Since I found out it was all a scam, I have returned to emotional eating and that is something I don't want to do. I would like to continue with my weight loss and exercise routines, but right now that is such a struggle. Now that I'm helping to expose this monster to others, I'm looking forwarded to getting back to being "me"!
Thank you all for the encouragement!

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