The Healing Process

[Pinky]

It's good to read you're doing well!

Just one little suggestion . . . scammers are getting better and better at faking web cam sessions. While you've got them on cam, ask them to humor you by doing something impromptu like holding up 7 fingers or writing your name backwards on a piece of paper. Anything they can't anticipate and fake.

Thanks for sharing!

[Dipfele]

Hi,

I also had contact with a scammer - one week ago I realized that!! I am so glad I did not sent him money. But my heart is broken, mostly I feel much sadness , sometimes I am very angry and I feel that it takes a long time getting "heal" again.
I am very thankful and happy about this site, about all people here - thats such a big HELP
When I read alle the messages here and see how many people are in the same situation it makes me sad but also strong. Believe me...we will getting heal again .

When I am feeling very bad I come to this site, meet "real" friends here on the chat...and that helps me alot

"Dipfele"

[Pinky]

Welcome! We're happy to be here for you.

[hebe8]

I am almost recover from my sadness and stopped using yahoo messenger as I got cheated by a scammer from yahoo messenging and even sent "her/him" some money and gifts..Also,my personal address was being revealed to "her/him"

I don't know what will happen to me in future as she/he knows my address but whatever it is lets time heal our sorrows and move on .

[FrumpyBB]

HI and welcome here

About your three posts, can you please post the scam proof as it´s outlined in the FAQ? Just name and link helps not. Take your time to read through here and then post googleable info, ok?

[samantha1]

I just found out the person I had fallen in love with is a fraud using the pictures and name of SMA Kenneth O.Preston he said to call him Daniel. He wanted me to send pkgs to Kuiwait via, to me first. I said No. He is supposed to be here next weekend from Afghanistan. My sons who are military found out the pic was real, but the person I was typing with was a scammer, on Yahoo as servemynation. His profile on facebook has been reported and deleted.The police were called about the 1 pkg already sent to me to forward on. But the emotional part is going to take awhile. In a sad way, it helps to know I am not the only one this has happened to. I wish I could talk to the real person, I wonder if he is as nice as some have posted he is. One soldier posted on my sons page that preston was an awesome man. Just not the man who supposedly loves me. Thank you for assuring me I am not the only one this has happened to, and how to grieve. It will take time for me to get over this. I feel stupid, embarrased , heart broken, and asking God WHY? Thank heavens I have military sons who discovered this. I feel like such a failure. What must my sons think of me.This is not the first time I have been scammed, but the first time I have fallen for a man. It was so real, and when I saw his pic with one of my sons on it I thought he was for sure real. For it to happen now is such a shock. Do I tell him I know the truth about him when he contacts me on Yahoo? I'm not real sure how all this pages work. But if you want you can email me. I am just so let down and sad. It is like a death. When I am better emotionally, I will come back to read the posts. I never knew this place existed or how I found it. But thank you! Thank you very much.

[duckhunter]

Hello and welcome samantha1. I'm so very sorry for your heartbreak and betrayal, but very glad you found this site.

In answer to your question, absolutely DO NOT confront your scammer with what you know. Block him, delete him, refuse his calls and send his emails to junk or trash, unread. Not only is this the best way to avoid educating them, there is some satisfaction to leaving them scratching their heads, wondering what they did wrong.

I understand your desire to be in contact with the real man, but doing so would be very unwise. Often the real person is married or in a relationship ... or they may even want to shoot the messenger. We've never ever seen a situation where contacting the real person has led to anything but more heartbreak. Remember he is also a victim and should be treated with respect. That includes his privacy.

The very best thing you could do now is to post all the details of your scammer, so that other potential victims can google and find him here. You will find links to guide you through the process in your welcome pm, or you can find them in FAQ.

You are among friends here who understand what you're going through and who care. Stick around and learn how to protect yourself in the future, and if you need to reach out for support, please do.

[Pinky]

I couldn't have said it any better than Ducky.

Your scammer is most likely a Ghanaian or Nigerian hoodlum, not over the age of 25. He callously used you for money and material gain. If you ask God why this happened to you, ask him why he allows insects like these scamming cockroaches to exist in the first place.

I think in the overall scheme of things, God allows things like this to happen to us to give us free reign and agency over our lives. We can accept or reject honesty, compassion, love and integrity as a way of life, or we can reject God and all things decent to be a lying, thieving, despicable human being. It's a no brainer which one you'd choose. You don't think there are any blessings in store for the opposition, do you? Meanwhile, you've gained a tremendous education in being wary of dangers on the internet and how to protect yourself better in the future. Who knows that you weren't spared something far more painful from having lived this short but painful lesson.

[The Wild Geese]

The healingk process is a very painful and bumpy process but I am just greatful and thankful to RS that this community was always there when I needed it most.

[stupidlyscammed]

Dear Samantha1
I am so sorry and sad that you were scammed. I was a victim of scam that occurred four months ago. During that time I was so devastated that ending my life was part of my thoughts. He was the reason that I rush home from work everyday to be with on YM and on cam. When I found out he was fake, my world tumbled down. I was lost until I found this site and thank God everyone was kind and supportive. I realise now how fragile our mind is when we are in 'love'. I also realise how powerful this mode of communication is, unlike physical dates, this mental dates through YM or chats can manipulate our minds through our imaginations. Am I healed completely, not so well. I still hear songs and words that remind me of him and it makes me sad. However, I am on my way to recovery and I believe I will be alright again and that he will become a faint unpleasant memory of encounter in the library of my mind. So take heart Samantha1, you will heal and be alright. One day you will meet someone real and nothing is more awesome then meeting someone who reciprocate your feelings the same way.

[lcsodispatcher]

I am a single mother of 4, in the process of getting a divorce and have been seperated for about 3yrs. I tried dating sites and one guy...from Match.com who now i know was a scammer from his MO, sent up red flags. I totally told him to never contact me again. What makes me so up upset and sad is the guy who just scammed me sent up small red flags but nothing to make me say...he's weird, creepy or wants something other than a relationship. Now that i know what to look for the signs were there, but i was wanting and needing for companionship. I was thrilled when i talked to him and couldn't stop smiling. It was nice to feel that way again. He said all of the right things.

I told alot of people. I don't feel ashamed. I didn't do anything wrong. Its just sad that it happened. I want to cry but i don't feel its worth the tears. I can't say that I wish i could find the guy in the photos he used. It feels like i know him, but i don't. Oh well wishful thinking.

So good luck to everyone. I know the grieving process takes time. We will find someone out there who is good and kind hearted and everything we want in a man or woman. God has a plan for everyone, I think.

[fooled2love]

Hi Icsodispatcher!

He said all of the right things.

Of course, the scammers are all VERY well trained to do just that ^^^. That's how they get us. But, remember, even those "right things" are VERY fake. The words they give us are fake, the photos are fake, the names are fake and most importantly the feelings they feed us with are all fake. And since the whole package is fake it can not sustain a real kind of pain for too long. Yes the pain feels real for a while, but eventually the reality manages to burst the bubble and the pain goes away. It does. That's my experience.

You can also comfort yourself with the fact that now you're richer by one new (even if not nice) experience and a very important knowledge that no scammer will take away from you. That experience and knowledge you will always be able to use to combat the scammers from now on. Take care and good luck!

[florbela]

Hi everyone,

I've been here for two weeks, the time I found out I was about to be scammed.

On the first days I thought I was ok, I didn't want to show I was in pain. Last week I got sick. It seemed a cold but for no reason. I'm quite sure I had somatize my feelings. Then, 3 days ago, I got really bad in the middle of the night after eat nothing different. I threw up all night and ended up fainting in the bathroom in one of the times I went there. Next day I was still not feeling well but went work and, at the end of the day, I slept from 6 to 11 pm. I woke up better. My mother said I needed to put it out all that it was hurting me and I think I did it that, at least the beggining.

I'm feeling stronger each day. I know I am lucky to found out everything in time, before be completely in love or had lost money, but it's so much more than money! Anyway, I'm sure I'll get well soon.

And read the posts here is helping me a lot. Thank you.

[duckhunter]

lcsodispatcher you are doing a wonderful thing by sharing your experience with others. Who knows how many potential victims you've already saved, and how many more you will in the future.

[lcsodispatcher]

Thanks!!!

This forum has really opened my eyes to the shady parts of online dating. So many questions that need to be asked to your potential suitors before anything goes further. I know that even though there are no red flags you still need to pursue those questions.

Just this week I am talking to someone who is in my area (I even went so far as to give him a random question that he couldn't google) I still throw random things at him when we are talking. I am still weary but I am not going to let the scumbags who caught me when i was vulnerable potentially ruin something good that could come from meeting someone. But I honestly think if it wasn't for what i just went thru, i would not be so cautious.

We as human beings sooo want to be loved and we all want to hear the "fairy tail" quotes. "I want to be with you forever" "Your heaven sent" etc. and that is what they prey on. But the more we let people know about what the scumbags do, even if it gets one woman/man to say Woah this is not right....then you guys have done your job. There will always be people in this situation that even though it is presented to them in black and white will not believe. I tell people about it and they still don't believe it happens.

So Thank you again to the MODS and Owner of this site for the awareness!! You guys are AWESOME!