The Healing Process

[Sofie]

To all of you Loving Generous Caring Women

Everytime I read the posts and see and feel how desperate you are and what you've all been throw, my feelings of despair, sorrow, emabarrassment, foolishment, total loss, and so forth rise again. I'd just like you all to know that you are all wonderful people and I so wish I could protect you all of all this hurt and abuse but I know I can't. I'd just like you to know that should you ever need someone to talk to over the phone, per mail, I'm there. If you need a holiday, I can open my home to you. I know that after something like this has happened that there is no way we can go on holiday or spend a cent unnecessarily for a very long time to come. I'm afraid I have to keep on working like a silly idiot to pay my loan off too but simple things in life are free. A walk, a talk with someone one can share this with helps the healing process. That's what I can offer you all, no expensive meals out, but a good meal at home, no trips to God knows where, but a stroll at the lake or in the forest is just as good.... I'm there for you.

The hurt eventually subsides but the debt remains for a long time, and this is reality! The debt to be paid off before one can start earning enough to live and put something aside for one's old age. I still can't understand that nothing can be done but have to accept that these evils beings will carry on because they are protected -even by the banks!

I'm lucky, I have three kids and three grandkids and the peole on Romancescam, they kept me functioning through all this. I'm plodding along slowly but am so strong, even stronger than before. I'll never let these silly idiots destroy my life- they nearly did. Don't give up, no matter what. It takes time but you'll get there lovely people. Remember, should you want to take me up on my offer, write me a private message.

Wishing you all lots of strength, Sofie

P.S. How do you manage to use the smilies, I can't- silly me! I just get 'http://www.romancescam.com/forum/posting.php?mode=reply&f=22&t=13396#'

[Pinky]

Oh Sophie, it's so good to see that the evil monsters didn't destroy your loving, kind, compassionate, generous soul. Forget the money. It's what made them evil in the first place. That you work to repay is a blessing! Work and activity keeps us young, our minds alert and our bodies healthy. Plus you are with people you can share your love and sweet spirit with. On top of all that, working to repay demonstrates your personal integrity - of which scammers have none.

I too worry from day to day, how I will pay bills, support the people dependent on me and save for my future - but at the end of each day, I marvel at how little that worry benefited me and how none of my worries came to fruition. I believe that if you maintain your integrity and loving, compassionate soul, that you will always be blessed with the material things you stand in need of.

[Sofie]

Dear Pinky
Thank you for your kinds words, they are appreciated. You are the one that should receive all the praise for all you do and have done. You are amazing!

I have learnt to be satisfied and happy with so little. Material things are no longer important to me- 'nice to have' doesn't mean 'need to have'. I'd rather spend the little I have left over on my kids and grandkids. I am so 'rich', rich with feelings of love, pleasing the little ones, helping people in between, who needs material things?!

I admire you and how you are able to be there for all these poor victims at all times of the day! Thanks for everything you do for us all on behalf of everyone!

Take care dear Pinky, I know how you feel sometimes but I'm sure you'll be fine. Just never give up and don't waste time and energy on things we have no control of. Things turn out differently in any event as you say. God bless you!
Bye for now, Sofie

[recentvictim]

I have been sitting on my desk and reading various messages on this forum all morning at work. I tried an online dating website I found on google search, it was the first hit.
Now I feel pathetic and stupid.
I myself work as an expatriate. Yes that is true. People like me do really exist and other people, especially locals , do not like us. Because they think we make more money. Which in fact is not 100% true. After all those expenses comes alongside living abroad, we are all the same with other people. Sometimes maybe in a worse situation. I live very isolated . Expatriate community can be very small or can be very depressing because everybody considers what is your position in your company and how much you are making.
In my current location, I had more difficulties due to lack of local language knowledge . I am getting older. I just wanted to meet somebody. That is why I tried that website.
First , we had a very intense email sequence which lasted about 10 days with a man from UK. I don't know what happened. First he was very interested. Then he stepped back. I believe he was a real person. Did he think that I am a scammer like others? Do people traveling for work always suspected and considered scammers? When he said goodbye in his email, I cried 2 days non-stop even at work. I made my migrene and my eyes' temporary light sensitivity as an excuse to explain tears.
Then I started writing to somebody else. At first, I told myself 'Don't care too much. If it is supposed to happen, it is going to happen.' But then I started searching this person on the web and I fall in love with one of his pictures on the Facebook profile I have found. Even though, I knew there were lots of inconsistencies. But I wanted it to be real so much. I spent 1 month writing emails to this scammer, Talking with him over the phone etc. getting used to the idea that it is not real took time.I still ask myself; am I so ugly or do I have that much displeasing personality that nobody likes me ? Am I doomed to loneliness in my life? I am 36 now. Everybody I meet at work or at friends gatherings are married or coupled. These dating sites do not work either. Apart from being very close to being scammed financially, I feel like I am being scammed emotionally, as well.

[Pinky]

Apart from being very close to being scammed financially, I feel like I am being scammed emotionally, as well.

Oh you were! I liken it to emotional rape. It's the most despicable thing these subhumans do, far worse than the robbery.

I can really relate to what you've written. I was divorced in 1996 and have been single since. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself and sometimes I get so discouraged I give up looking or dating, but all times, I realize I am much happier than I ever was married (it was really bad) and if I die single, so be it, but I won't die unhappy. Meanwhile, I enjoy each day more when I am helping others. That always makes me count my own blessings.

[recentvictim]

Hello Pinky,
I have been reading your message. I am kind of relieved that other people feel in the same way like me. That it is not only about financial scam but also emotional scam.
However, the other things, about being single, married, giving etc. I am not sure about these. Everybody else's situation is different. I guess mine is a kind of an extreme one. I have never been married or liked because I am not attractive enough and do not have a settled life. It feels like it will never be healed. Besides, it makes me vulnerable to these type of scams.
Life is not supposed to be spent alone.I believe,all these men or women, including myself, have some kind of emotional emptiness that leads us these dating sites. So the evil ones who are very aware of human nature use this fact in their own benefit. Because, most people says the similar things: "I knew there was something wrong" or "I realized some inconsistencies" but we still keep communicating to these people.
On the other hand, there is one comment there about scammers saying they avoid answering personal questions. But in our daily lives, most of us do this as well. There are many people prefer keeping some of their individual details, emotions, facts etc sharing with the others they have to deal with everyday at work, at school and maybe even at home. Can it be one of the reasons that we continue ignoring the signs?
Now, I have been thinking about the man with whom I have had an email communication prior to this scammer. I preferred not answering his question about not being able to find a swimming pool. At that moment, I told myself "what kind of point is he making? I will skip this question" I am living in a metropol with a population of more than 20million. Sometimes knowing the facility's location does not mean it is an easy access location for everybody because of commuting, working hours etc. I didn't bother to write anything on the subject. Since I travel for my work and for these small type of things,did he think I am a scammer? I can't get my mind off this thought. The idea of that somebody might have though that I am one of those things while I have been a victim is horrible.
Feeling stupid, pathetic, emotionally scammed, all have been all hunting my mind now. It will take time to go back to the normal, long time!

I wish everybody finds a way to heal quickly.

[Isctcmn]

Hi-Am finding the site a little confusing and want to "chat" with someone to to get advice and support-HELP!!

[minerva]

@ Isctcmn :if you wanna talk about your scammer in private. use PM. just PM one of the mods here that you like. so they will helping you

[Hawkonecanada]

ok, I wasn't really affected as bad as alot of the people posting in here, but still i was victimized. I accept that. I wouldn't be bothered so much about it if I could find someone else to keep my mind off of it though. BUT, if it should happen again, (and I have thought already of doing this...), is it natural to want to seek the criminals out in your own ways and take the law into your own hands? I mean, like, alot of criminals that are good at what they do know the 'loopholes' in the system, to continue doing what they are doing. They are actually protected by the law. So, a 12 gauge might solve that problem(except for the life in prison afterwards, but still it would be self gratifying).

[Pinky]

Oh sure, revenge is a perfectly normal desire. Posting your scammers details is the first step. Hopefully you ruin his other jobs. And when you feel up to it, check out our baiting forum and have some fun wasting their time and maybe costing them money by making them travel or do things. We don't recommend you bait your own scammer, though.

[The Wild Geese]

Hello Hawkonecanada,

Taking the law in your own hands can be very painful and dangerous. This is what we call revenge. Revenge in itself is evil. Yes, I can understand your feelings regarding these evil people we call scammers. I agree with you, that they owed to be punished. The problem is, we are dealing with unknown creatures, hiding behind the photos of innocent people. Operating in unknown internet cafes in a corrupt land Africa or pretending to be a student in far away Asia.

Take it this way;
1. Is it not a punishment already that these creatures hide their real identity?
2. Is it not a punishment that they are ashamed of their own face?
3. Is it not a punishment that they have to lie to get money?

These are just few things of the punishments they are bearing here on earth. If you believe in life after death and the righteousness of the Creator, then I am sure the time will come when it will be our turn to laugh at them.

Take care of yourself and hang on here in RS, you will heal faster than you can think of.

[missvic47]

hello im pretty new to this and my scammer is still texting me with his undyiny love to get more money from me. ive checked every thing i can and of course e-mail address doesnt exist his phone is listed as a land line in lodi calif as a telemarket number. but when he calls its an restricted number so cant trace it. says hes an engenieer on an oil rig and his contract is up. there are so many men in the us with the name hes using that i cant begin to track them all down. hes such a smooth talker.i no ill never get my money back. due to being so dumb. i just want to catch him so he cant do this to anyone else. and try to heal my broken heart. and like everyone else im to ashamed to tell anyone.

[Pinky]

Hey Miss, you're in the right place. We can help you get through this. No, you won't get any money back, but there is so much more to be aware of.

First: DO NOT RESPOND TO ANYTHING FROM HIM. We do not want to let him know he's been found out and exposed.

Second: You are going to expose him. Please know that he is not really the white guy who's sent you his pictures. He is a little African boy, probably no older than 25. You are his job. Lying and stealing is how he thinks he'll get rich - and he is getting rich by African standards. You also need to know that you are not the only job he's doing. There are others just like you and you can help them now.

Last: You should post his pictures that he's using, state where he latched onto you from (what site), give his full fake name and email addresses and any other names he's used in the course of the scam. Post names of anybody he had you send money to, any other names he used in his scam, and phone numbers too.

Think about the criteria that you searched for when you were trying to find information on him. What did you Google? This is the same information you should post now. That's how this site works. You should also give a sampling of his messages to you, preferably his money request.

Last, we like to collect IP addresses on these guys. It's another identification mark to prove scam. However if you're not computer savvy and don't know how to get an IP, don't worry about it. In this case, the fact that you lost money, that he asked you for money, makes him a proven scammer.

Send me a private message if you need any help with this.

[Anabella]

Thanks to this side i found out yesterday that i have been scammed! Just by using google and a picture of him I got a match, Jason Allen Briggs.

I feel so bad about the whole situation, I am stressed and sick after the preassure I have had the last two weeks. Guess it is normal after hours of chatting, and telephone calls late at night? I felt so happy and lucky when i was chatting with him. I consider myself as a strong woman. Never the less i sent money to this scammer about GBP 5000,-. I know that i have lost my money, but the worst thing is that i feel my dignity is lost too.

I have followed the advices here, and closed my mail account and I have also posted all the information i have about him. He keeps calling me, but i guess he will stop as I do not answer.

Is there anything else I should do? '
Kind regards Anabella

[FrumpyBB]

Hi Annabella, please post all the scam details, for the sake of the gang´s other scam victims.