OMG..What is wrong with me

[saddened by it all]

I too have recently been scammed but did not send money and told him or should I say them that I would not. I too feel so foolish and ashamed and cannot believe I truely fell so deeply in love with this man. They are so damn good at what they do. I cry all the time as I am grieving my loss. I also know the man in the profile picture is an innocent victim. I know he was not real but I fell in love so deeply with a dream and what I thought my future held. Friends and family are supportive and provide love and support but I feel your pain as I too feel and wonder what is wrong with me. Maybe we just want someone to love and love us back. Is that so terrible. I have learnt so much from my experience and it is just so raw. I will never allow this to happen again and yes cut off all communication with these scum.

[Ralph Warner]

Hi saddened by it all and welcome

I am glad to hear that you realised its a scam before losing any money, while most of our scam survivors wil ltell you the emotional pain is worse than the financial pain, there is no doubt that the financial pain adds to your emotional suffering.

Whats wrong with you?
Well, where do we start,
You are trusting
Caring
and obviously loving

In todays society we like to think these are desirable attributes but unfortunately it does put you in a higher risk category for being scammed.

Please read our FAQ at your liesure and you will learn the early warning signs of a scam as well as how to help prevent others from being scammed.

Also read around and you will see that you are definately not alone here.

Please dont hesitate to ask if you have any questions

[saddened by it all]

Thank you. This website has been so helpful and so has the chat room There are some amazing people who have been so supportive and I am so grateful for that. Yes I am trusting but it did take some time before I trusted I can tell you and then I still had some doubts but did not want to listen to my gut feeling cause I beleived I was in love and he was in love with me. I know with time I will feel better and my life will go on. Thanks again

[RSfan]

@ Saddened....oh my dear one, I am so glad that you have found RS, and that you have found the Chat Room where we have had long discussions. I truly wish there was some way to lessen the pain you are experiencing right now. The only thing that I can promise from my personal experience is that it DOES GET BETTER. I hope you keep coming back to the chat room so that we can continue live IM chat. I have enjoyed talking with you today. You are helping me heal, dear one.

http://romancescambaiter.com/chat/flashchat.php#

Hugs, Boomer

[crazynurse64]

This is an epidemic and we need to really get all this out into the open. You are not stupid for looking for someone online and wanting to be a compassionate and caring person. Most of the kids are meeting people online so why wouldn't our age group? But it seems that a new brand of criminals has gained control of good situation.

[kyra]

HI,
can I tell you how I overcome my bad experience.
first time was a shock, disappointment, sadness, then came the anger, then the desire for revenge, and punishment.
When I came to the moment when I wanted to cause pain to my scammer that he must suffer and feel pain as his victim. I stopped. and my mind took control with, no more emotions.
I have not worked the same as he,
because I did not like him.
then I was proud because I was strong and I did not become a bad person, but better.
and better people react differently-
that man , there, on the other side chatroom, ,He is a fake person , that is not even one person, but three, false image, false words, and a Third man, realistic, rear, in the shadow of all
shock is, when you realize that you're a puppet on a string, because, we, for him, a scammer, we are nothing but puppets on a string.
Who? Who wants this to be.
I also asked myself what is wrong with me?
nothing!
I am only human being who made a mistake, own mistake, admit it as a mistake and nothing more, and you go forward, perhaps you ashamed of it, but sin is human, and try to try, never again to repeat the same mistake, you realize that smart people learn from the mistakes of others , stupid people to learn from their own. So, I learned, do not do more mistakes, and so I became a little more cautious, therefore, a little more clever
and suddenly you have a goal to help others to learn, even from your mistakes
makes you happy, makes you even better,
and this frees you from the grief and pain, if you can help others not do the mistakes that you did.
when I became a member of the RS, thanks for this site, this was not just to tell my story, close the profile and email, and try to forget everything
NO, it becomes my obligation to help others to help not to become puppets on a string, who will lose their confidence, their own will, money, pride, peace everyday, and. much more .. maybe some are never the same as before .. as the loss of personality, who so desires? No one.
so I overcame my anger, perhaps embarrassed and feel stupid,. sometimes I play the game. I pretend, as I am a potential victim, I know a scammer, and sent to the Rs, they know how to proceed.
Maybe not fair, maybe not a good idea, maybe not an adult, maybe not the right way, must play the game, but it works.
in what way to stop a scammers, just as their method?
and the scammers has to be stopped, right?
so I am out of my bad experience, did a good experience. each has its own way, this is my way.
P.S.and please excuse my bad English. nice day to all

[Ralph Warner]

Great post Kyra, there is one thing I did want to suggest though;

it becomes my obligation to help others

You should never feel like its your obligation, we can only do as much as we can and you need to remember that everything you can do is appreciated

[kyra]

sorry, maybe I chose the wrong word, it sounds like, to return the debt for a favor, no, no, this is as one wishes, noted another, helping some ways, to show solidarity and stand for good people, friends, at their side. because, every friendship is a special, pleasant and honorable form of responsibility , even care of each other.
What happens to my friends, as happened to me.
perhaps a kind of empathy?. and can not just watch and do nothing. I read somewhere something like:
'If you want something, say something, do something and be something... ...or say nothing, do nothing and finally become nothing!!...

[Pinky]

I know what you mean Kyra. It's more an obligation to yourself, to your own healing. It is human nature - a good human nature - that we heal faster when we step outside of ourselves and our grief and pain, to help others. We lessen our own suffering. And as good citizens of a healthy society, we do owe it to others to educate, warn and help them wherever and whenever we can. This helps us every bit as much too. It's a win win for everybody - even the scammers! The more we fight, the less opportunity they have to scam and hurt people and the more opportunity they have to see how bad and wrong their nasty business is.

[stupidlyscammed]

Dear Kyra and all here
I know how it is to hurt so much you can't see anything beyond the hurt. For me it was shattering, maybe because I believed and trusted him so much, the entity that borrowed the photos of some men as his own. It is especially true when you realise that he made you feel like you are just worth a lie. But RS helped me a lot. I read articles by the scammed and the people here. That way you heal. Having said that sometimes I still think of the man as I knew him in chat and yes I miss him...but I also know its an illusion, so I just forge ahead and live. I may think of him periodically for a while, and miss the chat...but I know I will move on. We all will.

[saddened by it all]

Thanks to one and all here
The understanding and support does help. I wish I could be angry and maybe that will come. I still feel such grief and I know that with time it will fade. Thanks so much to BoomerAngel you are indeed an angel. Thanks to all who try to reassure me and support me during this time. I do feel stronger each day, I move 2 steps forward and one backwards but at least I am moving forward. I am still in shock and disbelief that this happened to me or that I allowed this to happen to me. I dont want to become hard hearted and cynical because of these scum. They are ever so smart. They sure know how to work someone. I am so grateful i did not lose money as others have and live with each and every day of thier lives. I feel so sad for these people, how do you get up from that. But even still the loss of trust, the loss of the belief you had in yourself and your rationalisation in your world, the loss of the man who never did exist but you loved seems all to much at times. I know I will be ok and move on from this a better person. Again thank you to you all

[RSfan]

@ Saddened and Kyra.

You are both an inspiration to me with your strength and determination to come through this experience as stronger people. I am growing and learning with you. Like that saying goes "Together we Stand, Divided we Fall". We are finding our way through this experience to come out the other side as better, stronger, enlightened and even greater capacity to love and be loved. We hold each other up. Hugs to both of you.

Boomer

[saddened by it all]

Thank you stupidlyscammed, BoomerAngel and kyra. I am getting stronger each day but today has just been a really sad day for me. It hasnt even been 2 weeks yet and I am still crying some days. I am angry at these scum now but still feel the grief and loss. I know that this will go eventually and I need to move on and try not to think about it all. It is hard some days driving home from work and hearing the songs you associate with the experience. Anyway many people I have met on RS and in chat have really and truely inspired me. YOu are all such wonderful people and so understanding. Your journey and experience and where you are now and your survival stories inspire me and bring me real hope. I thank you all Saddened.

[The Wild Geese]

Hello Saddened by it all,

Sorry we have to meet here in RS because of our sad experience. Well, my experience with a mugu was over 2 years ago. He is long ago forgotten. I thought I fall in love to the person I communicated with but now I know that I just needed an escape from my RL battle. The pain I experienced of meeting an evil mugu just made me even stronger to face and fight the battle of RL with open eyes and more patience.

Yes, at the start when you realize that you are dealing with an ugly devil hiding behind that handsome picture, you will feel anger, rage and bitter. That is just natural. Have the determination to forget your lover boy because the person you thought you fall in love with was not there right from the very start.
Take care of youself! We care!

[saddened by it all]

Hello Wild Geese, nice to meet you too but shame it has to be here due to our experiences. I know the man I fell in love with was not real and was all lies and deceit and not the man in the picture. I will eventually forget or maybe not actually forget but move on with life. I was not looking for a relationship but let my defences down after 26 years of having a barrier around my heart. Still feel so damn foolish but good things do come from bad experiences and I have met some lovely people here at RS and they have given me hope and strength. I am ok but still have sad days. I am usually a very strong person but this has really shattered me and my self concept. I am dealing with this but I appreciate it takes time. Tears do wash away your pain but the tears also slow to a trickle and not each day. Again I cant praise the people here at RS and chat room enough. You are all a God send and deserve only good things for what you do. THANK YOU THANK YOU for caring. Saddened.