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Romance Scam

Please report romance scams and dating scams here. We accept reports on Russian scammers and Nigerian scammers.

Disclaimer regarding pictures posted on the board: please understand that you are NOT looking at the pictures of people who are actually scamming you. The people portrayed on these photos are innocent men and women, NOT involved in scamming in any way and have nothing to do with scammers. The scammers are using their images without their knowledge or permission to deceive their victims and steal their money.




The Healing Process

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keira
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby keira » Mon May 02, 2016 6:38 am

Hi Julia2016,
that is so sad what they did to you! Please, don´t destroy yourself and don´t kill yourself, the scammers are not worth it. Don´t let them win over you! Those people have no conscience, after you read other victims´ stories, you will see nothing can stop them, they would scam you until you have nothing, they wouldn´t mind even if you killed yourself as long as they have your money, that is the only important thing for them. So it´s good it stopped before you lost everything. I understand that the biggest loss is the emotional loss. You don´t have to be ashamed, there are a lot of people on this forum who went through the same with the same feelings. But the scammers are criminals who planned this from the beginning and they know how to do it, those tactics have been improved for many years by many scammers, that´s why they are so successful with so many victims. People are most manipulable through love, even the most reasonable person can be blinded by his or her feelings to the other person and can´t think rationally, and they know that. :heartbroken:

Re: The Healing Process

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Julia2016
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Mon May 02, 2016 8:46 am

Hi, I do thank all of you who responded to my email. Gosh, you have not slightest idea how much I needed it …. I followed all pieces of advice I found here …. daily routine, pedicure, flowers, candle light, warm bath … and .. I want to share with you something what I did yesterday, and since it helped me a lot, I think it could also be useful for others who face problems with separating the real scammer from the person in the photo.
To separate the image of the person in the picture I fell in love from the scammer’s one, yesterday I used a very simple technique which I use when meditate. Here it is: I pasted the biggest possible picture of my “soldier” on the right side of the monitor and framed it in blue. It is important that it should be on the right side and framed in blue (it is connected with our brain functions). Then, I found in the internet a photo of the ugliest and the most disgusting real scammer (just googled: photos of real Nigerian scammers). I copied it, pasted it on the left side and framed it in white. But I made it as small as possible. So, I had these two photos (the biggest one - of my “soldier” and the smallest one – of the scammer) next to each other. I turned on the meditation music (on “you tube” there is a lot of such music, but it is important that it should be instrumental, can be with Alpha waves). And I started looking at both of these photos. Every five minutes I made with a cursor the scammer’s photo a bit bigger and my soldier’s one – a bit smaller, so after one hour of changing sizes of these two photos, the scammer’s photo was really big so that I could see and remember his ugly face, and my soldier’s one was really small so that I didn’t see his face well. The point here is to replace - in our mind - the image of our “beloved one” with the image of that scammer, and to memorize the ugly and disgusting face of the scammer, just like before we had been memorizing the face of our “beloved one” when chatting with him. I made this visualisation only once yesterday, and I must say that it worked – today in the morning when I woke up, my mind saw next to me, in my bed, the face of that horrible scumbag, instead of the face of my soldier. I have never got up so quickly like today … It means that we are able to teach our mind to get rid of the image of the person we fell in love but who doesn’t even know that we exist. Since this technique helped me, may be it can be of any help for other victims. Everything is only a question of our minds ….
And yes, all of you are right, since we are human beings having our human needs and dreams, there is nothing to be ashamed of. We cannot be ashamed of being caring and thoughtful human beings, can we?

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby keira » Mon May 02, 2016 12:56 pm

Hi Eevaa,
that is exactly the case, we are human beings, and scammers chose us intentionally because we are caring and thoughtful and those are good traits that help to create a healthy society. The by-product of it is, that we can sometimes fall into the trap of scammers like these, but that is nothing that should discourage us from being caring and thoughtful people. We just should be more careful the next time we meet someone who flatters, shows love to us and we start to love him, the best is to have some friend to talk about the suitor, especially when there are some problems, obstacles. I also learned that one of the main reasons I fell into the trap was that I didn´t know it was a huge organized crime, everything planned and time-proven for many years and the whole fact that this is possible, to abuse relationships on socials sites to get money. We were not prepared to this and when a "caring" person is not prepared and someone needs his/her help, then helping is the first thing that comes to our mind, not some crime, money, cheating and all those things, it takes time until we realize what is going on in real.

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Igulinka
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Mon May 02, 2016 12:57 pm

Eevaa


PLEASE POST GANG'S: EMAIL ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBER, FAKE PROFILE, PICTURES , MONEY REQUEST INFO, FAKE DOCUMENTS, ETC.
You will feel a relief in your heart knowing you helped others by doing so. Thank you and be blessed.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Pinky » Mon May 02, 2016 11:51 pm

As Igulinka says, please post all the identifying information you have because the scam gang is using the same pictures, email addresses, names and bank accounts, on others. When you expose this information, the others can find all the evidence they need to break free. Hopefully you will cause an interruption to the scammer's cash flow.

But if you have any thoughts of prosecuting or punishing these criminals, you should know that it is completely hopeless. First, you may as well post the bank account information they used to scam you. If it's not closed already, it needs to be. But it will not lead you to the real identity of the scammer. What it will most likely lead you to, is another victim who was deceived into giving up their banking info. You transferred the money to her, she accepted it thinking you were a 'customer' of the man she was in love with and then she wire transferred the cash to a front man or fall guy in Nigeria. You will never find a real live human being to pin any of this on, there are so many layers. Even the female voice you spoke with was probably a young black girl playing the part for pay. The email letters were written by someone other than who you spoke with and another probably chatted with you. All are likely 20-something, young Nigerians. Scamming is literally an occupation that is supported, valued and respected in that country.
If your question isn't answered in the FAQ, please message a green Moderator or red Admin. We need to know.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Tue May 03, 2016 12:02 am

Pinky, the post is just in , please view here: http://www.romancescam.com/forum/viewto ... 91&t=98420


Eevaa

Please close the bank account you used to transfer the money. They most likely have that info stored.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Sun May 08, 2016 3:49 pm

I just want to report that every day I work very hard on separating two images of “my” US soldier from that moron who scammed me. I do the mind trick about which I wrote a few posts before, and I think I’m getting over him. I also printed several photos of real scammers I found here, I cut them out, wrote the name of “my” US soldier on each of them and put them in different places in my house to ensure that my mind associates the name of “my” soldier with the scammer’s ugly face, just like it did when we were chatting. And, so far so good … since it works for me, maybe it could be useful for others.
I want also to share with you that since I have no contact with “my” soldier (despite he keeps trying to contact me, I ignore him as if I vanished in a thin air), I’ve realized how much control he gained over me. Why didn’t I see any red flag when he told me, for instance, that he had been afraid of .. spiders? Has anybody seen a US Navy soldier who is afraid of spiders? What a moron he must be … I need some more time to petrify this image of my “brave” soldier in my mind, and I’m seriously considering to reply to him .. but this time as a scam buster … the meanest in the world … to torture and torment him for what he did to me and most probably many other innocent women as well.
I wanted also to tell you that I’m in the process of reading all the posts of other victims from the very beginning of this thread, and I must say that I’m devastated by the scale of this crime and harm they did and still are doing to innocent people. These scammers are psychological terrorists destroying our lives, and there must be a way, apart from reporting them, to stop them, somehow.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby mysterylady » Mon May 09, 2016 3:29 am

Julia: I can relate what you are going through. I am a victim and it took me over a year to get over it. Whatever you do, dont blame yourself and dont let it lower your self esteem. Just because you reached out to someone shows you are caring and a giving person These jerks prey on women who they think are widowed, lonely and have money.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby keira » Mon May 09, 2016 6:00 am

... I’m seriously considering to reply to him .. but this time as a scam buster … the meanest in the world … to torture and torment him for what he did to me and most probably many other innocent women as well.
Isn´t that just another excuse to be with your scammer? And what you gain by that? To show the scammers you can fool them as they fooled you? Is it really worth it? I think you had wasted enough precious time with them already, so why to prolong this? You will be the one who will be tortured. If they have at least a tiny intuition, they will find out who you are, or you can do some mistake, you can´t know what emotions it will raise in you, maybe jealousy? Emotions have their own life, a normal person can´t make them not to appear and they are stronger than reason. If it wasn´t like this, you wouldn´t be in this situation. If they find out who you are, do you think they will be angry that you fooled them? No, you will just give them proof that you are addicted to them, and they will be right, unfortunately. You just affirm them that they have power over you, they will consider it as your weakness! Do you really want them to win over you? For scammers this is not only about money, but it´s also some kind of perverse competition, the most successful is the one who makes the biggest damage, who manipulates most his victim, who ruins the most the life of "that rich bastard" who "owes" money to them, their perverse minds think that they have right to the money of others and they doesn´t mind that they rob innocent people, for them victims are one like another, they don´t even mind how rich is somebody (or maybe everybody who has access to any money is rich? :thinking: ), they squeeze their victim until he/she sinks to the bottom! I think your strength is in your ability to live without your scammer, not to make fool of him.
Secondly, they can cause you more serious problems then they caused you already. They can infect your PC with a virus, or by communicating with them you can become suspect of being their accomplice, or they can pull you into another scam! Is it really worth it? Let a "professional" baiter bait him and give yourself time to heal.
The power of a person is also in his ability to admit his limits, it´s not that you are bad, but that you are not a psychopath, you have emotions!

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Avalon1 » Mon May 09, 2016 7:04 am

It's all about addiction, isn't it?

That is the big task to manage: get rid of that damn addiction. That is what all vics have in common! One is a step closer to reach the target, the other is falling back, again and again.

It is a start realizing this addiction and how powerful it can be. It is normal to develop the wish to take part in the fight against our own scammers.
That is the reason, why a vic becomes a baiter, but NEVER BAIT YOUR OWN SCAMMER!

And be aware that baiting is also a kind of addiction, or at least a passion what concerns all the non-vics here in RS who are baiting.

Even going online here regularly seems to be another new addiction, that is how I feel sometimes. It helps talking about your own story and reading about all others. It is very comforting when other vics give advice and you feel not alone. It is interesting and exciting - we are dealing with criminals. Ok, sometimes scammers are stupid, but sometimes they are smart, scaring and powerful.
What concerns my case, the scammers power and wickedness helped me to admit. I can't fight them, I can't bait them, others have to do that for me. It even helped me to break this ban I was caught within, like a woman falls for a vampire. I started hating THEM and hating HIM.

And still, my heart is beating fast, when another notification pops up on the display of my device. Is it bringing any news about THEM/HIM? It is another drug now, I replaced the one by another one. I need to step back for a while from all this, to heal. I know this, but who can?
Look at your postcount Keira. Seems there are a lot of people who feel the NEED to take part here within RS, to contribute.

Take care you all, be strong!

Avalon1
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Julia2016
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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Mon May 09, 2016 7:23 am

Hi Keira, yes, I’ve read what you wrote and .. you may be right. I didn’t think of it that way .. I think I might be just at the stage of tremendous anger at these people. I also read yesterday at night the Hula-Girl’s diary, and my anger at them exploded. If I only could get one of them in my hands … This is just so unfair what innocent people go through because of them, and nobody can do anything about it to stop them forever. I think that I’ve successfully replaced the image of “my” soldier with the images of real scammers. No, I don’t want them to have any power or control over me, never again, I don’t want to become suspect of being their accomplice, I don’t want to be addicted to that moron anymore. My will to take revenge on them (I’m not thinking about “my” soldier, but about them in general) is a normal human reaction to what these scumbags do to innocent people, but you may be right .. at the stage of my emotions the best possible solution could be just to ignore his emails and vanish to avoid any further unnecessary emotions leaving the baiting to “professionals”. Thank you.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Mon May 09, 2016 7:34 am

[quote="Avalon1"]It's all about addiction, isn't it?
That is true, addiction. But I believe that it takes time but we can fight addictions successfully. Everything is a question of our mind. For the last few days I’ve been working very hard with my mind to get rid of that scumbag who reached me trying to replace images. And sooner or later (I think it will be rather sooner ) I will win .. Now, I can feel only tremendous anger, at myself and at all of these scumbags in general.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Julia2016 » Mon May 09, 2016 7:38 am

Julia: I can relate what you are going through. I am a victim and it took me over a year to get over it. Whatever you do, dont blame yourself and dont let it lower your self esteem. Just because you reached out to someone shows you are caring and a giving person These jerks prey on women who they think are widowed, lonely and have money.
Mysterylady: Thank you, I dropped that moron about one week ago. I ignore his emails, don't reply, as if I vanished. I must admit that first few days were horrible, but when I started reading all posts of other victims and found so many similarities, I feel just ANGER at what they did to us.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby keira » Mon May 09, 2016 10:01 am

Hi, Avalon1, I´m happy you are here and realized you can´t fight against your own scammers. You are right, the need to write here is still some kind of addiction. But I also feel that I really heal, I have been feeling very good the last two weeks, I´m back in my daily routines, for example I´m able to do household chores as before the scam, that´s evidently a sign of healing, so it seems this in not that bad addiction ;) .
As for investigation for the real identity of the scammers, I want to know it only for practical reasons, if I accidentally meet them in real life or online, to know who they are, but that doesn´t mean I want to meet them again, I don´t want! And even emotionally I don´t want to know who they are, I´m afraid it would be even a worse experience than how I imagine it now :lol: . So I don´t search intentionally as intensively as in the beginning, just "scanning", but very lazily.
Julia, I feel the same anger as you, but this is just a phase, it will pass. ;) But it signals that we are still in the healing process and therefore we should be very careful not to do mistakes.

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Re: The Healing Process

Postby Igulinka » Mon May 09, 2016 12:36 pm

I’m seriously considering to reply to him .. but this time as a scam buster … the meanest in the world … to torture and torment him for what he did to me and most probably many other innocent women as well.
STOP!!! Don't do it. It will only make them laugh harder. They don't care how we feel. They wish to see us dead that's why our money go to terrorists.

Scammers do not feel empathy for anyone, less a victim they never cared about. Scammers have been trained to not feel emotional towards their targeted victims. They have emptied all human emotions in order to be a successful scammer. There is no margin for one grain of emotion; it is not profitable for the scammer to get serious with any victim. They are great role players, actors and puppet masters.

As keira wrote above that would be only another excuse to hear back from them. Also for a person who is not healed totally from the scam it could be devastating effect as scammers know how to pull back into the scam.
So , my advice is BLOCK, IGNORE, FORGET. Do not waste another day for revenge. Karma will serve them what they deserve.

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