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Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Fri Oct 16, 2009 11:53 am
by Pinky
That's fantastic Didi!

And for those of you who haven't caught mentions of DnM elsewhere on this site, DatingNMore is a singles, social site that currently is free to all members. It is owned and operated by the original creator of In fact RS here was an offshoot of the dating web site as Marisa (the owner of DnM) began it to fight the scammers who joined her site. Her dating site is the ONLY scammer free web site on the net as she goes to great lengths and she is the most proficient at keeping them out. Check out DatingnMore.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:12 am
by OwezMe
hi everyone..

i'm lucky being least i've got a chance to share and understand our problem very well...this has made me extra careful now about this issue..yet im still pretending that nothing has happened cause this will give me time to track every person especially in my country, John's teammate (John is the name that scammer) including his real address..really hope my cousin can track it since she's been working at telco dad is going to tell this to his best friend who is working at police station, looking for possible solution..pray the best for me guys..and bear in mind...God will always help us the weak.. :)

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:51 pm
by Pinky
Hi Oweisme. We hope we can give you some comfort here in knowinng you're not alone. You have the support of many here who have walked in your shoes.

Don't hold out hope though that your scammer can be caught or prosecuterd. It's highly likely there are no American involvments or connections. If your scammer used an American name, it was stolen or made up. An address was lifted off the internet. A credit card (if he sent you flowers) was stolen. If you sent him merchandise to an American address it was forwarded to Africa by a 'mule' who is probably another victim in love thinking they were helping. That same mule might have forwarded you a check to cash for the scammer.

Sadly, unless you're famous or have lost enough money to interest the feds, nothing is going to happen. I understand there are provisions to write off money lost or stolen on your income tax but that's about it.

The best way to fight this is to warn others. You can do this by posting his scamming information here on this site. He is doing others like you.

I'm sorry you've had this experience.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 3:48 am
by Arabian Nights
Hi there to all in RS :D
i have received this in a PM and would like to share it round to give support and thought to it
Thanks for your support........I feel that I have been such a fool. At least I know what the warning signs are because I am still searching for my soulmate, where ever he may be.
when we find out we are being scammed we have many thoughts of self loathing and inadequacies :(
In truth we are loving, caring, compassionate, intelligent and genuine people :D
We have so much strength that we have faced our demons and shared them :applause: :applause: :applause:
am glad to know and see you all here, you have taken such big steps to overcome your inner conflicts
thankyou again :applause: :D :applause:

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 12:32 pm
by Kanuk
Hi Pinky,

Whoever you are Pinky, thank you from the bottom of my sincere heart!!!!!
I have been trying to heal alone since finding out that I had been scammed a little over a month ago and your healing list has helped in many ways.....
I too feel sooooo stupid to have fallen for such a sick and evil scam that some days are just too unbearable to think about continuing then I look at my 3 wonderful boys and I say to myself "they don't deserve that"?????
This guy took 7 months of my life pretending to be this wonderful family man?? widower with 2 girls? not to mention my confdence, my love, my hopes and my dreams!!!!!
I hate life these days and I hate what he has turned me into always thinking bad things now about everyone aound me not being able to trust anyone anymore at their word!!!
My parents didn't bring me up to think that everyone was evil but that is how I see things everything is EVIL!!!!!!!!
I know in time I will get over the money lose and thank goodness it was only money that he can't find me and come to see me but I wish I could find him and put my little hands around his neck and squeeze (though I am not a violent person??)
I still have nighmares at night when I sleep (the little sleep that I get) and I still hear the ringing of his voice in my head some times then I get sick.....
Thank you for helping and this brief message has helped me in so many ways to unload a lot of guilt from my already burdened shoulders.
Here is a photo of my scammer and his so called 2 daughters.
Ladies and gentlmen presenting Mr. Kelly Brown and his daughters Sherri and Kim.......
Thank you for letting me unload a lot of heartache.....


Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 2:17 pm
by Pinky
Dear Kanuk, I thank YOU for having the courage to come forward with this. You in turn, will help many others. This should prove to you the world and most people in it are not evil. The good guys look out for each other. You will find the pain and anger will subside as time goes on and you will love and trust again - only the next time you will know better what to watch out for. It's a hard lesson to learn but being scammed is an effective one.

I am single and on many dating sites. Some I even pay for. I still meet and go out with guys from the sites. I have many different ways of testing their credibility and sincerity, some subtle and some not so subtle. But all in all, I have never had a single one refuse to prove he was who he said he was in his profile and because of what I've learned about scams, I was able to discover that two of them were actually MARRIED men looking to cheat on their wives. Sadly there are always a few locals who aren't much better than the scammers. I still have hope though. Never lose that.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 4:58 pm
by Prisoner6
Thank you for giving us all a voice and shoulder to cry on. I have ben a victim of the Travel scam which I confirmed today. I am merely a very lonely man hoping one day to find true love. I thought I found it with the girl (36) I met via a free site who wanted me to e-mail her. I was psychologically manipulated over 4 weeks and felt flattered with all the attention I was having. No one had ever spoken so sweetly to me before. I was in love. Everything I secretly wanted to hear I heard.

The experience has left me emotionally drained and very depressed. Victims are not stupid or naive. They are honest, caring people with a good heart like myself, perhaps just too trusting. Yes. I sent the girl money for a Visa, but she did not directly ask for it, just saying there was a problem with finance. By this time I was too far under her spell and sent money voluntarily to help her as a friend. It is not losing the money that worries me, just the psychological damage. To be fair, Western Union even warned me about money advances, but I was too deaf to listen!

Not only have I been exploited, but also the girl whose photos I received in many e-mails, including a picture of her with mum and dad. She looked respectable too, attractive, no semi nude apart from 2 bikini shots, which didn't seem to fit with the profile of "the well brought up woman"! All this is pretty revolting now-I feel physically sick.

If someone with depression or mental health problems is scammed like this then the outcome could be tragic.

I feel empty now, as I confided in this "girl" and grieve for a love that I know now never existed. I now seek the Samaritans for support to get through this. For me, I fear I will now never find love-an unbearable thought. An ugly 49 year old man with no hope, who fell for a fictitious woman.

I would like to say how sorry I am for anybody who has been a victim, and I understand how distressing these scams can be. Thanks for listening. Writing this here has even helped a little. Now I try to rebuild my life and what little self esteem I had.

Take care everyone,


Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 5:19 pm
by didi
I am so sorry for you. We are many here that have made the same experience and felt the same way :cry: . It takes time to heal, but you will do it. And you are right, it is not the money, it is the feeling to have been betrayed by someone pretending to be in love with you that hurts more than loosing money.
I hope you have posted everything you know about this woman, pictures, telephone numbers, IP-numbers.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 2:50 am
by Oklahomamishap
Wow, I was so shocked to come across this website tonight. I have just recently been the victim of a web site dating scam that actually was broadcast on the news, and I found a link from that to this site. I really thought I was alone, and can't believe this has happened to so many people. I feel like there has been absolutely no one to turn to for support, and it is a relief to find this forum. I am just not sure where to go from here.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:11 am
by Pinky
There are tens of thousands of scammers on the net. Maybe even hundreds of thousands. Read up on them in all the forums here. Educate yourself. Knowledge is power. Give youreself rest, pamper yourself, and take time to heal. Also, it seems from my associations here, that the faster you can give up the anger, the faster you heal.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:35 am
by atelier
It is good to find this site where we have something in common and can share and relate our unfortunate experience.

When I first realized my Perfect person is not what he said he is back in September (we communicate since May), I literally rolled myself like a baby and put myself to sleep to end the pain. I can never tell anyone in real life about it.. especially my family and close friends. I can't believe I found my "soulmate" only to lose him .. but after few weeks and now 2 months .. I feel so much better and stronger. I have always pride myself as a strong, careful and intelligent person w a hectic real life, but I still got hoodwinked. I don't blame myself as I feel the scammers are professionals who know what they are doing and really bait us and weaving our dreams and go after our hearts. They are also targeting certain individuals coz our profiles basically exposed our person .. mostly kind hearted caring individuals. So please be proud of ourselves. Never think we are stupid, but yes we are NAIVE, but never again. I hope we learn this lesson well.

When I learnt a lot more I wl probably also teach these scammers a lesson by scam-baiting them and they wl never know what hit them.. but off course have to use different persona and never to our real selves that we have exposed to the scammers.

To those of you who want to fight back .. I think best you dissociate yourself from the scammer and never use our own identity to scambait or get back to them. If you want to get back to them, use a completely different identity they can never track to you, then you can have fun teaching them their own lessons.

I take this as a lesson in life. I am sure there are many good ppl out there, just we have to go thru so many scammers to find a genuine good person. I am now figuring how to end it w many of the scammers still writing to me. This site has really opened my eyes.

This one guy "in London" seem to be very persistent .. tell the mother to call me, now he said he and his mom wl visit me .. I am now putting bait for him to meet my family who are in London before he come see me.. they want to check him out and have dinner w him, his mom and his daughters in see after learning about IP.. I checked each one of those who wrote me.. and half of them are scammers.. all Nigerians writing from my own hometown or Nigeria but claimed they are all in London, UK, US and Spain..hahaha Luckily some are genuine ppl w the IPs showing where they said they are.

This handsome and "educated" "Londoner" "engineer" has not replied yet hehehe
After checking the youtube url given by Viv.. I really want to puke .. these are butt ugly criminals!

I am not a vain person coz in my profile all I really asked is for a spiritual, kind-hearted and intelligent person, but these scammers really are ugly and have very bad hearts to boot! None of them looks like they shud even be in college (eventhough all of them Nigerians came here under student visas). I am sure in their country they are just some street wise guy but IT literate, some may have college educations but all scams ppl for easy money. In the youtube comments section the Nigerian posters even have the gall to blame Malaysian authorities for not giving them jobs in this country, that's why they have to resort to scamming. But excuse me,they are supposed to come here to go to college (only private colleges wl take them, not real Malaysian universities) and we are not responsible to give them jobs! Also they are already cold-hearted scammers in Nigeria and instead ABUSING Malaysian benevolence to give them student visas they are manipulating the system to do their criminal activities from here. I am mad at them for contaminating Malaysia w their criminal activities.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:25 am
by Pinky
You are a strong and intelligent woman with a kind and tender soul. The only caution I might add is that as we know that because some men lie they are not all pigs, we should take care not to become bitter and think all Nigerians scam.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:55 pm
by ddtex61
I am so glad that I found this site. I have been keeping all this anguish inside with no one to talk to. It's too humiliating to discuss. I was just scammed a few days ago and Im still in the deep depression, anger, shame, desperation, etc... stage. I think I have cried all of my tears away and yet more seem to come. To pour salt on the wound my scammer emailed a couple of days ago and said he'd send my money back. Yeah, right. I had been playing on his apparent supersitions and scaring the crap out of him. Got a reaction at least. I've read all the warnings about not continuing to communicate and will not be. Yet, tormeting him does have some sort of healing process for me. He tried to turn it around on me in his email to make me feel guilt for not believing in him. Trick of the trade. I've filledout all the forms and contacted all the people I can. Got laughed at by the local police. Scratch that. This man took so much more from me than my money. The emotional pain is staggering. I found out also on Friday that my very best friend in this world has cancer. I feel like a puzzle on a rickety table about to spill all over the floor. I don't think I can ever love again. I have no family only a couple of friends one of which I may lose. Someone please tell me this will all end.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 9:21 pm
by Crescentmoon
Hi DD,

It does get better but it takes some time. This site is a wonderful resource full of people who have been through the same as you. Being scammed is not something that you can share with just anyone and they will understand.

I am glad that you have made the decision not to communicate with him any more. That will help the healing process. Just vanish and do not tell him what he did wrong or what made you realize that he is a criminal. Do not accept any checks from him. They will most likely be fake.

I wish you the best.

Re: The Healing Process

Posted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:21 pm
by Arabian Nights
Welcome DDtex61 :)
Am sorry you had to find us like this
The pain will come to an end and part of the healing process is to share your experience in a way that is safe to you
Please post up your scammer and then you can download all the information you have on your computer, in your mind and in your heart, a cleaning out as you will, this will then assist you in making more sense of it all and it will allow us to walk with you thru' this maze of bewilderment and grief :cry:
Please read any and all posts here as it helps to understand your journey :) and you will have some very good laughs at the scammers :D
At this moment take your time, be gentle with yourself as you are a real, caring, compassionate person
Keep up your daily routine of getting up , opening your blinds and let the light shine in, make your bed, attend to your hygiene, eat at every mealtime, clean out your fridge, your cupboards, wash a wall. Take a book and sit and read for a bit, go and visit friends and spend time with your friend, we here will send her love and pray for her also for her wellbeing, go to the movies, treat yourself to a massage, a beauty treatment, have some retail therapy and take your friend with you, our lives are for ever changing and it is how we remember those moments so I hope you have many moments to share with us and with your friend before time moves on.
I am grateful to have meet you and we are here to walk beside you and give you a gentle hold when needed, we are just here and we are with you step by step :) :)